Define "something and nothing"

[Jo Bannister]

Becoming a Vestal Virgin was an anxious process, so the organisers learned to put aside a room where candidates could settle their stomachs and recover their nerve in private.  Unfortunately, they left it to the least sensitive and also least literate of their functionaries to come up with a suitable sign for the door.

CALL ME A CAB

[Spell Chick]

A psychological pathology in which someone believes they are an inanimate object. A book about a man thinking he was a hat was written on this subject. These patients will insist they be called by their preferred object, even to the point of shouting at you to do so.



YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

[Jo Bannister]

"Truth" of Liverpool was a famous clipper sailing first on the China tea run, later bringing wool home from Australia.  She was a fast but notoriously difficult ship, wet even in moderate seas and prone to boring up into the wind.  No one was appointed her master without first doing a good job as mate.  So many a seasoned skipper was turned away by her owners with the following words:  "You may have been round the Horn as often as an albatross, sir, but you can't handle the 'Truth'."

I CAME, I SAW, I CONQUERED