Author Topic: A Common Problem (content caution)  (Read 1782 times)

Offline Clarius

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A Common Problem (content caution)
« on: March 14, 2016, 05:05:00 PM »
Oh who will rid me of this gaseous turd
which presence here is quite absurd
It lies there floating in the bowl
since ere it shot out of my hole
Iíve prodded it with fetid brush
but still the bugger will not flush
Iíve bombed it with wadded roll
but still it bobs there hale and whole
Iíve tried to blast it into bits
with streams of piss in starts and fits
But all Iíve done is steer it round
and still the bugger wonít go down
Iíve thought of leaving it for another
or blame it on the wife or mother
But I guess Iíll leave it for another day
perhaps by then itíll have gone away.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns

Offline Vogel

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Re: A Common Problem (content caution)
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2016, 08:22:08 AM »
 :D :D :D

Reminds me of a turd I stumbled on in the bathroom at work, the trail bathrooms to beat all. I don't see how the one responsible survived! It's size and girth seriously stopped me in my tracks, my mouth fell open, I grabbed at my chest, startled. What in the hell is that?!?! I said, thinking it could be anything but a real human turd. It was the size of a fat squirrel, maybe? I tried to flush it, hitting the plunger with my foot, but it wouldn't go down. You would have had to slice it four ways just to get it to go down the hole.

Anyway, I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 08:26:35 AM by Vogel »

Offline Clarius

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Re: A Common Problem (content caution)
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2016, 01:23:59 PM »
As it says, a common problem.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns

Offline Gyppo

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Re: A Common Problem (content caution)
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2016, 03:53:55 PM »
A deft little verse. 

In these days of water-saving cisterns...  Biological soap powder is the boring answer.  And a bit of time to let it work.

The kind of soap powder you should never use on your underwear, unless you're into
sore red 'bits' of either gender.  "Goodness gracious, great balls of fire."

Here endeth the commercial for the cheapest possible bio from the pound/dollar store.
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Artemis Quark

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Re: A Common Problem (content caution)
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2016, 05:56:53 PM »
Amazing how MWC offers a wealth of real world advice, on any subject, no matter how unmentionable in typical cocktail parties. (Do people still have cocktail parties?)

Well written and thoroughly enjoyed, Clarius. Do keep us updated on the state of the turd.  ;D

Offline Clarius

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Re: A Common Problem (content caution)
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2016, 03:07:10 PM »
Still working on it: the poem, not the...
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us

 - Robert Burns