Author Topic: Woodsmoke in the lane.  (Read 2829 times)

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Woodsmoke in the lane.
« on: December 15, 2015, 12:03:55 PM »
Been thinning out some of my old paper copies today and I found this from 2003.  I still vaguely remember the dream which triggered it.

=====

Woodsmoke in the lane.

I smell the woodsmoke in the lane,
the travelling folk are here again.
I take my hat, put on my boots,
to visit as the first owl hoots.

Faces from a previous life,
a girl who never became my wife.
Long dogs drowsing by the fire
gaze mournfully at this 'pen for hire'.

Lines on a palm, tracks on the ground,
a CD plays 'wild fiddle' sounds.
The girl is now another's wife,
he grins at me as he whets his knife.

But people change, and tides move on,
my feelings for that girl have gone.
I read a palm and tell some lies
then it's sunrise as the damned time flies.

The motors start, the tyres churn
as off they go some cash to earn.
Then I awake to loss and pain
for the woodsmoke's only in my brain.

Gyppo - July 27 2003
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

  • http://www.writestreet.com/writestree
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 31219
  • Hello from Texas
    • Alice's Hide Away
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2015, 12:28:45 PM »
Gyppo, this one is new to me. But I'm so glad you posted it.

You painted a picture of words showing all the needed pictures to create a whole scene and the emotions that go with it.

Wish I could borrow your way with words at times. This is one of those times.  ;)
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline Desiderio Paz

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 171
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2015, 02:13:45 PM »
The woodsmoke is vividly in my brain now too. Thanks for sharing.

Offline heidi52

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13213
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2015, 04:21:00 PM »
You had me at the title.  ;D

Offline Frogg

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6184
  • Let there be tea.
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2016, 01:14:02 PM »
I love this.
I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters... it's amazing I'm here at all. - Bernard Black

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2016, 03:53:50 PM »
Thankyou.
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Jo Bannister

  • Guest
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2016, 05:08:16 AM »
Very enjoyable, Gyppo.  Loved the guy grinning as he whetted his knife!

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2016, 07:02:27 AM »
Thanks, Jo.

Re knife:  One of those unspoken symbolic gestures.  Largely theatrical, but...

Some people like to remind you they won the prize, even if you stopped competing a long time ago ;-)

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline SMDarling

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 54
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2016, 10:31:04 AM »
I love this! It has a lot of emotion in it, which is my favorite thing in writing. Sometimes I like to memorize poems for fun, and this is one I want to put on my "to memorize" list (if that'd be okay ;) )

~applause~

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2016, 07:59:45 PM »
If it sticks in your memory it would be ill-mannered of me to say no.
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Catherine F

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 754
  • I watch the ripples change their size (D. Bowie)
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2016, 11:21:32 AM »
I loved reading this Gyppo, everything's right :  feelings, images,  rhythm, rimes. It's got all I look for in a poem  :)

Thank you for sharing.

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: Woodsmoke in the lane.
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2016, 04:27:18 AM »
Cheers, M'Dear.  Glad you enjoyed it.

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1