Author Topic: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words  (Read 923 times)

Offline katarina66

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 97
Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« on: October 30, 2015, 05:21:15 AM »
Hi folks, this is my rework of of my previous posting, for your remarks

Chapter one



Annie Reid turned to her mother, eyes flashing. 'You can't get married.'

Isa wiped her hands on her apron. 'Why not? Since your father died I’ve been lonely, and we're both free. Bel's seeing a lot of Jock Sinclair. He'll have his boots under the table before long, sure as I’m standing here. When Bel gets married, she won't want us cluttering up the place.’

'Dad might have been the heir to Scartongarth. Why should Bel have it all?' Annie set her hand on the lime-washed wall which held the faded framed photograph of her grandparents on their wedding day.

‘We can’t just assume he was heir. In any case I won’t fight Bel for it. She's worked hard to keep it going with the war and all.'

'In that case I want to go to the mainland,' said Annie.

‘I suppose you could live with your Aunt Chrissie, get a job -- at the gutting maybe, or in service.' Isa studied her daughter, the set of the shoulders, the turn of her defiant head. Annie was already seventeen. By the same age, Isa was married with two bairns.

Annie changed the subject. 'So we'll be moving into the manse? You who never had time for religion, marrying a minister.'

Isa gave a deep sigh. ‘Do you not think I deserve some happiness?’ Her daughter had always been difficult and still clung to her father's memory. ‘You’ll be welcome in the manse, but I thought you and Jimmy were getting close.' She had so hoped that this was the case. But she feared that seeing Annie settled was a distant dream.

Annie snorted. 'He's my cousin.'

'A lot of cousins get married.'

'I'm fond of Jimmy, but only ‘cause he's so like Dad. Being with him like man and wife wouldn't feel right. Anyway, I don't want to stay here and be poor.’

'You're clever, Annie. You could go back to school, maybe get a job in an office.'

'We couldn’t afford it.' A note of wistfulness crept into her voice, and Isa saw a lifeline.

'Maybe, maybe if you had a word with Mr Dick...'

‘Mr Dick? Him being a schoolteacher doesn't mean he'll know about office work.'

‘But he could give you some learning at nights. I could do a bit of washing, a bit of cleaning for him. If you really want an education, we'll find a way to make it happen,' Isa vowed, with the steely determination that had brought her through all the hardships of her life.

***

Annie gazed at the floor where the flagstones shone with Isa's regular polishing. ‘I don’t want to live with you and the minister,' she muttered.

'I’m sure you can stop here with Bel for a while,' said Isa. 'She seems in no rush to get wed. But see how you get on with Mr Dick.'

Annie moved sideways around the table in the middle of the floor. To go anywhere in this small room she had to move sideways. On one wall sat a pine wood dresser that held the crockery, another held a bed in the recess of the wall and the door to the passage, on the third was the window with a dresser in front of it, and on the fourth was an iron stove with a mantelpiece and a rod for drying clothes. It was all so different from the roomy space where they had lived in Canada, until a few months ago.

She climbed up to her room beneath the rafters, sat down on her makeshift bed with the large sack of chaff for a mattress and put her head in her hands. In spite of her words, she liked Donald Charleston, the minister, and he would be good to her mother. She had seen how quickly the strands of white had streaked Isa's coal-black hair after the Great War took her father. Over the years, she watched her mother struggle against poverty and she, Annie Reid, hungered for something else, something she could never quite put her finger on. Whatever it was, it was not what was expected of her. Without an education, the only life for a woman was gutting the fish, going into service or hopefully marrying a good man.
 
From beneath her pillow she pulled out the magazines she had bought to pass the long hours on the journey to Scotland. She studied the photos of grand ladies, of fine carriages and city streets. ‘One day,’ she said in a determined voice.

Annie knew she was beautiful. Even if the pock-marked mirror on the passage wall hadn't told her, the way men's eyes followed her, did. No, she was not going to settle for becoming a mere crofter-fisherman's wife or a skivvy for some rich family.

She didn't want lessons from Mr Dick with his big belly and bulbous nose and the veins that stood out on the backs of his hands like fat worms. The young teacher, the one who had arrived on the island a few weeks ago to teach the first year pupils, he was a different matter. Even his name had an exotic ring to it. His black hair was short and he shaved most days, not like the young men of the island who, it appeared, only shaved once a week. But it was his eyes that really got her. Dark and intense, burning with a fire that matched her own. Yes, she thought, rising to her feet, Alexander Garcia was not going to live out his life as a teacher in a small school on a small island. He was destined for better things, and when he found them, she would be right by his side. From the first time she had set eyes on him, she’d been wondering how to get his attention. Unwittingly, her mother had given her the ideal excuse.
She rose and went downstairs.

'That was a good idea, Mam,' she said. 'I'll away up the road and speak to Mr Dick myself.' She bent and kissed her mother on the cheek.

Isa looked up from where she was stirring a pot of thin broth. 'I'm pleased,' she said. 'Good luck. But mind, there's butter to churn and eggs to collect. Bel can’t be expected to do everything and there’s little enough in the larder.'

'I will do it, Mam.' She closed her fists and her fingers hurt where they'd blistered against the handle of the hoe the day before. Her stomach clawed for a good feed and she felt the sharp burn of tears. Outside, a gusting wind sprung up from the Pentland Firth pasting her skirts against her legs and lifting the strands of her thick black locks. She never pleated her hair or tied it in a knot the way the local women did.
 
The smells of the island filled in her nostrils; the salt of the sea, the scent of burning peat, the warm smell of newly cut hay. The mid-morning sun cast rays from between the clouds to glint on the windows of the stone-built cottages which clung to the ground as determinedly as limpets clung to the rocks. To her left, sloping down from the shingle path and behind the hummocks of waving grass, the pebbles on the beach rattled as long, slow breakers rolled over them. Across the firth, towards the Skerries, a sea-netter ploughed its way through the waves. Above her the seabirds shrieked their anger at an unjust world.
 
For seventeen years she had grown up in the prairies of Alberta, and had never seen the ocean. Now she embraced its wildness and welcomed the taste of salt on her lips. Her father had loved this island, loved the sea, had never forgotten it, and through his stories, she had come to know it.

Two women, shawls covering their heads and shoulders, and wearing sackcloth aprons and heavy work boots, were thinning turnips in the field to her right. They looked up and rested their hoes in the ground as she passed.

'Hear yer mam's marryan' the meenister.'

Annie didn't want to spend time on gossip, but on an island this size everyone knew everyone's else's business anyway.

'Yes, she is.'

The women looked knowingly at each other, and Annie guessed that Isa and the Reverend Donald Charleston were hot on the lips of the residents of Raumsey Island.

'An' will ye be goin' tae the manse tae live?' asked the other.

'No, I'm staying in Scartongarth to help Bel. I'll have to go now; I'm  in a hurry.' Annie forced a smile to the two old wives.

Their toothless grins and deeply lined faces, their stooped shoulders and gnarled hands disturbed her. She would not, could not end up like that, working only to eat, finding pleasure in another’s business.


hillwalker3000

  • Guest
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2015, 06:08:21 AM »
This is so much better.
Normally we would caution you against making wholesale changes based on our feedback without taking a few days to mull over things first. Knee-jerk reactions rarely prove to be worthwhile.
But I read this from start to finish without a reason to pause. So on that basis I can’t fault it.

One minor nit-pick –

Outside, a gusting wind sprung either sprang? or had sprung? up from the Pentland Firth pasting her skirts against her legs.

H3K

Offline katarina66

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 97
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2015, 06:18:40 AM »
Thank you. I would not have made the changes if I had not seen it for myself. Once things were pointed out, I thought, yes, that's right. This site is great!

Offline Vogel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2015, 05:05:39 PM »
I liked this piece, Katarina. I read the original on my lunch break yesterday. I probably wouldn't be your target audience, but I have to say that after reading, I was intrigued to read on. The setting and characters felt well-realized and I was curious to know more about Annie's life and general life on this island.

One thing that caught me up was this:

Annie Reid turned to her mother, eyes flashing. 'You can't get married.'

How do eyes flash? I'm from the southern United States, so maybe I'm missing something here and this is a common saying where your story is located, but I have no idea what you mean by "eyes flashing".

EDITED: I looked this up and apparently it is like "eyes flashed in anger". So that was my own ignorance.

Anyway, other than that, I liked the piece and if I picked this up in a bookstore, I would read on.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2015, 05:07:33 PM by Vogel »

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2021, 08:14:35 AM »
J’ai la possibilité de vous transmettre les adresses pour plus d’échantillons en relation avec cet idée. Contactez moi par email.   VIZA INDIA

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2021, 04:22:31 AM »
Thank you for your post, and i suppose it helps me a lot.   INDIEN-TOURISMUSVISUM

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2021, 12:27:06 AM »
Generally I do not read article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thanks, very great post.   ETA Canada

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2021, 02:48:19 AM »
I enjoy you because of your whole labor on this site. Gloria enjoys doing internet research and it’s really simple to grasp why. All of us hear all concerning the powerful form you convey great secrets through the web blog and in addition strongly encourage participation from some other people on the content and my daughter is actually understanding a great deal. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You are performing a really great job.   www.HubslotXO.com

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2021, 12:33:16 AM »
“Nice Post. It’s really a very good article. I noticed all your important points. Thanks” https://www.Parisclub888.com

Offline pexipo8863

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2021, 12:20:49 PM »
Explore revexpo and check out the list of Paper Bag online and a complete buyers guide helps you to choose the best one and these are available at low cost Best Paper Bag in India, Click to see the detailed review about best paper bags in india and choose the right one for your needs.

Offline elizeo

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2022, 05:25:18 AM »
plus size skirts for women   First Choice Fashion is a one-stop online clothing store that provides the best selection of women’s dresses, shoes, tees, belted cardigans, jewelry, and more.   https://firstchoicefashionstore.com/

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2022, 03:53:28 AM »
I’d need to talk to you here. Which isn’t something I do! I like reading a post that could get people to believe. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!   캐나다 비자 I’d need to talk to you here. Which isn’t something I do! I like reading a post that could get people to believe. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!

Offline kacoye7531

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2022, 03:07:26 AM »
Sometimes its safer to just take a step back and understand that not everybody shares your beliefs   sexy gaming บาคาร่า

Offline pexipo8863

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2022, 05:47:50 AM »
Sub Z is a Gen Z and below Youth Group Ocala Florida ​were young people can join together in faith and fun to experience Christ and enjoy time hanging out with other young people. Ocala.Church is committed to a safe and fun environment where youth can build friendships and establish their relationship with God. Our hope is to see this generation commit their lives to God and have His purpose fulfilled in their lives.

Offline pexipo8863

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
Re: Annie Reid (title not yet allocated, revision) 1,475 words
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2022, 03:52:28 PM »
Explore the best Quality Shower cubicle with clamp profile Duschkabine mit Klemmprofil ​in Germany, Visit our website and get discount up-to 30% with Guaranteed Quality. We grant a 10-year quality guarantee on all shower cubicles and bath tub attachments, as well as a 10-year availability guarantee on spare parts. A corresponding guarantee document is enclosed with every delivery.