Author Topic: That Other Place  (Read 2847 times)

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
That Other Place
« on: April 16, 2015, 03:46:14 PM »
I guess this applies to all creative types, because I've definitely seen it in painters, dancers, and woodcarvers.

=====

That Other Place.

It's where writers go.

When friends smile and say
"He's away with the fairies again."

Others think we're being rude,
or antisocial, or arrogant.

But it's none of these.

Sometimes we don't even choose.
Summoned, we answer the call,
our minds instantly elsewhere.

We can try to be polite,
to listen to everyday banalities
whilst characters romp in our heads.

But it never really works
and we can't be in two places
with only one mind.

And much as we love you,
no matter what we've promised,
sometimes that other place wins.

But, to my loved ones...

Know this.  Even when you come second
to imaginary people and situations,
no-one else even comes third.

===
« Last Edit: April 16, 2015, 07:33:01 PM by Gyppo »
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Tom 10

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8846
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2015, 06:10:12 PM »
Really good stuff, G. :)

Offline Laura H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 34447
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2015, 07:23:43 PM »
And so true  ;) :D
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

“Don't be like the rest of them, darling.” ― Eudora Welty

Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2015, 07:31:31 PM »
I'm very lucky because my family understand this.  They recognise the signs, sometimes even before I do.
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Mark H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 19722
  • Middleclass Machismo now available.
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2015, 06:46:08 AM »
Great ending!

Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1172
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2015, 02:33:50 PM »
I like it all except the last line throws me off. 

I was going to suggest something like

"you are always on my mind", but that's a bit of a cliche I think.

Not sure how to improve it...

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1172
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2015, 03:18:06 PM »
Does this work/fit?



That Other Place.

It's where writers go.

When friends smile and say
"He's away with the fairies again."

Others think we're being rude,
or antisocial, or arrogant.

But it's none of these.

Sometimes we don't even choose.
Summoned, we answer the call,
our minds instantly elsewhere.

We can try to be polite,
to listen to everyday banalities
whilst characters romp in our heads.

But it never really works
and we can't be in two places
with only one mind.

And much as we love you,
no matter what we've promised,
sometimes that other place wins.

But, to my loved ones...

Know this.  Even when you come second
to imaginary people and situations,
you are first where it matters.



Offline Gyppo

  • Esteemed Contributor
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 72244
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2015, 04:25:08 PM »
Thanks, Mat, but I'll stick with my original.

Why?  Because the sentiment in your final line is different from mine.

I'm saying/accepting that loved ones do sometimes come second - except in real emergencies - but even second place puts them way ahead of anyone else.

Your ending is 'Hallmark' card sweetness.  Mine is a writer being totally honest with himself and his family.

Gyppo

(PS:  A good people watcher observes himself as well as others, and self awareness leaves few illusions.)
« Last Edit: July 30, 2015, 04:28:00 PM by Gyppo »
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1172
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2015, 05:12:35 PM »
I agree with you 100 per cent-given your explanation.

Self-awareness is clearly key.

Is Hallmark hiring?
« Last Edit: July 30, 2015, 10:48:33 PM by matwilson »

Offline Mrs N

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2319
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2015, 06:31:56 PM »
Really agree with you, Gyppo. Our poor families, eh?

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1172
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2015, 09:50:12 PM »
In an age where people are sometimes more connected to their cellphones than to their families, it appears to matter less.

But I certainly appreciate the sentiment.


By the way, is it okay to begin sentences with words like "but" and "so".


Offline RMundyfl

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 16
Re: That Other Place
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2015, 03:42:29 PM »
How absolutely 'bang on.' I first discovered mine when in the course of dozens of doctor's visits, a fistful of surgical procedures, and the vampirization of my blood I found it to be the perfect refuge from the bite of the needle and the probing of the other instruments of torture nurses visited upon me. I then called it my 'Happy' place, but once there I could easily become lost in my thoughts - finish a discussion me, myself, and I were having or recreate to my favor a scenario in which I came off second best. Thank you for giving me validation for what is now "That Other Place.'