I'm probably giving this more time than it deserves, but sometimes I just can't help it.
Do you read your own work before posting it here? I don't mean just glance at it, but read it properly. To see what it says, not what you think it says.
Do you ever picture the scenes in your mind, rather than just seeing them as words on a screen? These are serious questions, and below are a few examples of why I asked.
'Abigail flips backwards over the sofa and loads her gun. Suddenly Dr JEKIL flips the sofa out the window. Abigail turns and starts two shoot at him But The bullets just fly off of him.'
Apart from the spelling error, two instead of to, there are plausibility concerns here. You've already established that Abigail knew about the Doctor and was there to get him. She wouldn't wait until the middle of the fight to load her gun. If you mean she cocked it - prepared it to fire by pulling back the hammer or slide, then say so. But she'd probably be carrying it cocked and locked, ready to fire as soon as she thumbs off the safety catch.
From a writer's viewpoint you don't start to shoot, you just shoot. Too many words between thought and action. Otherwise you may as well say 'she began to think about preparing to start shooting', which sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?
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'Abigail puts her hands her coat and takes out two swords. She slides through his legs and slices both of them. DR JEKIL roars as loud as he can.
Abigail leaps over Dr JEKIL. And stabs the two swords into his shoulders. He screams into the air and falls to his knees.
Abigail land on the floor and takes out two ELECTRONIC POWER BUZZERS. And puts around her hands.'
The first six words make no sense. I guess you intended to have the word in between her and coat, but the reader shouldn't have to guess what the author intended to write.
I quite liked the action of sliding between his legs and cutting them both, although she'd have to be slim, fast, and extremely skilled to pull it off. (I'm getting a Buffy The Vampire Slayer image here. She wasn't too convincing either, but she had some nice moves.)
The two swords, one into each shoulder is just pure theatrical hokum, Ninja potboiler low budget movie or computer game stuff. Plus, if the man's bullet proof, why do the swords work? If he's wearing Kevlar body armour under his clothes it will turn a sword point.
And what the hell is a POWER BUZZER? If you mean a stun-gun - a hand-held two prong Taser rather than the dart firing version - just say so. The name is well enough known by now to be treated as a generic term, like the ubiquitous Glock for a handgun.
Finally, the kind of person who carries and uses a sword wouldn't put it away without wiping the blade on the victim's clothing. (Theatrically this is a good move, as it implies blood without having to slosh stage blood around by the gallon. Audiences will see blood which isn't even there if the actor plays the part properly.)
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In summary, sort out your spellling and your missing words. Don't trust the spellchecker. It has no idea whether you mean two, to, or too. Then run your scenes through a visual filter to see if they make any sense at all.
Gyppo
