Author Topic: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)  (Read 12714 times)

Offline BailsTheNoShellSnail

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 11
Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« on: July 07, 2015, 09:14:41 AM »
I just want to know someone's opinion on this comedy piece I am thinking of doing, it is just an outline of the sketch.

The sketch is a parody of the grinch and it's called
"Justin Beiber, the hormone snatcher"
In this sketch Justin is atempting to hit puberty so that he will finally be seen as a man by society. Mean while at the public school the kids are learning about hormones and one of the kids believes that you have to put your hormones in a jar and leave it by the side of your bed for the hormone fairy to pick it up and let you hit puberty.The kids at the school believe it.

Justin Beiber finds out about this and sneaks attempts to get the hormones in hope that he will hit puberty.

Offline TheOtherAdrian

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 126
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2015, 05:08:48 AM »
Frankly, I think you're a couple of years late with the Justin Bieber jokes. And I don't get what this has to do with the Grinch.

Lose the outdated reference in favor of an original character and it could be funny, depending on your skills as a writer.

Offline dawalker17uk

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 6
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2015, 07:15:36 AM »
it could be mildly interesting as an indy short comedy, but only for Bieber haters.
Very niche, I also feel there isn't enough in here to make it anything more than initial amusing and imagine repetitive jokes and tired cliches.
However, in an attempt to be constructive I would suggest tweaking the concept, remove Justin Bieber as a character, to be more of a peter pan coming of age comedy marketed to older teens and young adults. This would open the door for all those awkward teen moments (kissing for the first time, trying for second base, etc) and failing horribly as he/she has even less of an idea than all the other kids as they have been off in a castle/forest/cave/bin/dream land/space, etc.
I would make it more about the comedic quest for adulthood rather than seeing a famous persona in unlikely situations, but hey that's just my opinion, feel free to discard (or use) as desired.

Offline ChonkyDay

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 57
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2015, 03:38:29 AM »
First of all the joke isn't even funny, it's just a ridiculous attempt at perpetuating harmful gender stereotypes. Maybe if it were done with actual kids who don't understand puberty it would be funny, but otherwise it's an outdated offensive joke.

Offline TheOtherAdrian

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 126
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2015, 04:25:14 PM »
chajaja0714, please be nice to others even if you don't agree with them. Constructive criticism is a great way to be, well, constructive.

Offline Lena Brennan

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 107
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2015, 07:44:36 AM »
I've just had a picture in my head of Justin Bieber dressed up as the Hormone Fairy in order to steal the jar of hormones.  If I replace Justin with any old (young) bloke, it's mildly amusing.  Otherwise quite bizarre.  I don't think your sketch will work, for the same reasons as others have already mentioned, but if you forget the Justin Bieber idea and use a more current character, it might work better.

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1167
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2015, 08:46:23 PM »
I'm all Biebered out as well.

I think the guy has made a genuine effort to join the adult world and whether he succeeds or not, I don't see the point of trying to ridicule that horse.

I'd kill that one and try to think of something else.

Offline Vienna

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7394
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2015, 09:12:26 AM »
I'm with everyone else on this. I would scrap this idea and think of another one.


cheers

Richard
Just a well-read punk peasant

Going to church makes you a christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car!

Offline Carl Magnus

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 56
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2015, 03:00:05 PM »
Give J.B. a break? I doubt anything original can be written about him at this point.

Offline handsomegenius

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 62
Re: Comedy sketch idea (opinions would be nice appreciated)
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2015, 06:11:51 AM »
It needs a funny a bit
Freelance copywriting: http://www.handsomegenius.com.au/