Author Topic: My Left Shoe  (Read 8571 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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My Left Shoe
« on: April 15, 2015, 04:16:59 AM »


An old friend rang me up to say
come celebrate on Saturday,
we haven’t met since God knows when
we’ll round the old gang up again.

As usual he’d choose a
proper back street boozer
with sticky carpets, 60’s bogs,
where old guys sit with dozing dogs,
a no-frills pub for no-frills men
- a proper old school drinking den.
Not for us a poncey bar
with girlies sipping Pinot Noir,
or out with those whose afternoons
are one long hazy Wetherspoons
or shouting in some sweaty place
to endless booming Drum n Bass
with braying students thinking
they’ve just invented drinking. 

So come the day the lads arrived,
amazed this grotty dump survived,
the mood nostalgic, light and merry,
the banter flowed like hen night perry.
Though largely past our youthful prime,
still having such a jolly time.

But later when I paid a call
whilst pointing percy at the wall
I heard an inauspicious slosh
and found the toilet floor awash.
A recent client, ham of fist,
had aimed perhaps but…largely missed.

Emerging from that fetid place
I still maintained a cheery face
but now I faced a dampened night
for one shoe wasn’t watertight.

This episode imbued
a slow decline in mood,
my ribaldry had ended,
a cloud of gloom descended.
This inattentive urination
now prompted wider rumination,
a taking stock of what I’ve got,
reflecting on my current lot –
questioning the paths I choose,
the friends I keep, my choice of shoes.
Boozing in a back street slum,
ponging like a wino bum,
however did I sink to this?
my sock is soaked in someone’s piss.

I could not shrug or simply scoff
my foot too wet to laugh it off.

But now I might suggest that when
we get together once again
perhaps we could identify
somewhere nicer, somewhere dry.
Though poncey bars are not our scene
there must be something in between
with modern chic facilities
and freshly cleaned utilities -
a Local run efficiently
where punters point proficiently.

The sock, as soon as I got in,
was dropped into the outside bin,
then after gravely mulling through 
the future of that bloody shoe
I judged its fate to be the same –
the shoe must shoulder all the blame.
I chucked it out and set to rights
my post traumatic sleepless nights. 

But sympathisers shouldn’t fret -
my foot just got a little wet,
I paddled in a warmish tide.
Now it’s over. No-one died.
And now with time and quiet rest
I’m almost wholly convalesced.

Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline mechobiz

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2015, 04:26:54 PM »
That is one good poem from you, sir. This is when I can come out and say that I expect more from you, as I hope it's not your final. Your use of Drum n Bass has given the poem a touch of musical influence. I've woken this afternoon to find that my cheerful wife was dancing down the hallway. All I can say is I never felt happier.

I don't see why they would turn a blind eye to this poem.

Well played, Dylan.

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2015, 01:14:42 AM »
Excellent poem as always dylan ;)

Offline heidi52

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2015, 06:46:54 AM »
Always fun to read your work.

This one made me glad I'm a girl.  ;D

Offline Simple Things

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2015, 09:55:06 AM »
:)

Enjoyed. I liked the structure also. Sometimes they can go on, but this held to the end.


Offline Mrs N

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2015, 06:17:49 PM »
Love it.  8)

Offline Mark H

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2015, 03:42:00 AM »
I assume you will be selling the reaming shoe on eBay?
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2015, 05:04:46 AM »
(note: he means remaining. Kuh)


- No Mark but it’s given me an idea:

For Sale 

Right Shoe size 9, slightly  tide-marked but sound. Calamity  forces sale. Would suit one legged gentlemen or shoeless poor person (first step on the ladder? – it’s a start). Alternatively will swap for left shoe of similar style….. No, hang on, that doesn’t make sense. Let me think about this…. if a man has one shoe and then….


Alternatively will buy or rent similar left shoe (send pic) but keep this one. That’s it. I think …then I will have 2 whole shoes  again... Yes.

ps. Shoe must pass float test .
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline Mark H

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2015, 05:12:47 AM »
Are you sure you are a Northerner? Because it all sounds a bit foppish (dare I say like a Londoner) to want matching shoes!

And, yes I did mean remaining. I dread to think what a reaming shoe might be  :o
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Mrs N

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2015, 05:28:33 AM »
(dare I say like a Londoner)

For gawd's sake there's nofing wrong sounding like a Lunderner!  ;)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2015, 05:43:13 AM »
Dear me, such pitiful ignorance displayed here. Quite a lot of people in the North wear matching shoes these days. I’ve even spotted  a man wearing those long pointy shoes like what people in that there London wear. And he had a preposterous beard.

It’s taught me a lesson though - adopting such fancy southern ways instead of donning me proper pit booits.


ps. I looked up Reaming Shoe –apparently its something to do with artificial insemination in cattle.
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at –
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline Mark H

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2015, 06:17:34 AM »
Pointy shoes are a bit passé actually.  ;)

This is more the kind of thing the fashionable man about London is wearing. I saw I chap wearing a pair of these in Sutton Coldfield yesterday!!! He was also wearing a matching headset thingy for listening to pop music. He looked very silly and it cheered me up no end. It was "almost" worth going to Sutton just for the laugh.

http://www.dobell.co.uk/red-contemporary-patent-dress-shoes/?gclid=CPHNgcyM_cQCFWXMtAodUB0Aeg#

Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: My Left Shoe
« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2015, 09:01:46 AM »
Pointy shoes are a bit passé actually.  ;)

This is more the kind of thing the fashionable man about London is wearing. I saw I chap wearing a pair of these in Sutton Coldfield yesterday!!! He was also wearing a matching headset thingy for listening to pop music. He looked very silly and it cheered me up no end. It was "almost" worth going to Sutton just for the laugh.

http://www.dobell.co.uk/red-contemporary-patent-dress-shoes/?gclid=CPHNgcyM_cQCFWXMtAodUB0Aeg#




Oh dear God :o :P