Poll

The time has come. You have four wonderful entries. You can only choose one. Which one will it be?

Whacked
4 (23.5%)
An Occasional Man
3 (17.6%)
King for a Day
4 (23.5%)
According to Uncle Harry
6 (35.3%)

Total Members Voted: 15

Voting closed: March 24, 2015, 09:37:46 AM

Author Topic: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!  (Read 2440 times)

Offline Vogel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« on: March 15, 2015, 09:37:46 AM »
Story #1: Whacked - 555 words

I flew once. Did I ever tell you that? It was just like a dream, where my feet ran so fast that they began churning into the air. It was enjoyable at first, well until that bear got involved, and climbed into the sky with me.

I guess we must have freaked a few people who took time to look up. A boy. A bear. Both dashing from cloud to cloud. Me hiding behind cumulus, him smashing them into fractus with a swipe of his hairy paw.

That chase went on for hours. He was from the north and so blended into the clouds perfectly. I could see him though. His two black beady eyes and wet-black triangular nose were by then, quite well known to me.

We had just crested a mountain ridge; his breath shooting out thick contrails and my thin screams splitting the valleys like thunder, when we came upon a Blue Whale. It floated all alone, one eye pointed down towards the ocean, mournfully dripping out little flakes of snow.

It had been a strange day, so why not.

Below us, another whale breeched the sky. With a stroke of its mighty fluke it rose. So amazed by the second whale’s dramatic eruption, the bear and I came to a stop.

It seemed to take forever, but eventually the rising whale reached our altitude. It was much larger. I had thought the first one was an adult, but when the other came along side, I could see it was at least twice, no, three times as large, easily.

With a large smack from its fluke, the larger propelled the smaller back down towards the ocean and then ponderously swam behind, whacking it every now and again whenever it stopped its descent. Finally the both disappeared beneath the waves.

I looked over to the bear, who regarded me. I swear it raised a furry eyebrow. Maybe it was just trying to bring me back down to earth. Maybe the bear had understood what I was just a wayward child. The bear didn’t look half as mean as I had first thought. Now resting comfortably between two rolls of cumulus cloud, it looked damn near teddy-bearish.

I floated on over.

Without warning it swatted me on top of my head. Friggin’ hurt like hell.

After about 10 whacks, we eventually reached the coastline. The bear gave me one final whack, driving my feet, knees, and waist into wet sand, making sure there was no doubt I would get the urge to again. Upright, with only part of me poking out, like one of those mole games I played at the Fair, I stuck my tongue out at the bear. It snuffed loudly, licked my dirty face with an extraordinary long coated tongue, and then ambled off in bear-like fashion. His brilliant white coat stood out for hours between those trees.

It took me that long to worm free, though my sneakers remained buried. I figured to be miles away from home. First I checked for the bear, then I gathered speed, even jumping high into the air like some newly freed baby kangaroo from its pouch, all with hopes that I could achieve lift off. But gravity held me to Mother Earth like brand new Velcro.


I ended up walking home. That sucked.    



Story # 2: An Occasional Man


Two weeks ago, I shared a bottle of whiskey with the man I watched dying in the snow.

We met at the bottom of the escalator; he held the Lewis party sign.  A beast of a man, wrapped in a Patagonia jacket with a beard years in the making.  I was acutely aware of my own lack of masculinity, while me and my three friends held the rail as we gently descended and waved.  I guess this is the reason I called the ad from the men’s magazine.  Reconnect with nature and primitive manliness.  An upper class solution to a generation of men chained to desks.

He said his name was Bear, but probably it was Paul or James or something Biblical.  He pulled out cigars, which we smoked driving out of Anchorage.  His hand draped over the steering wheel, he ran through the schedule.  We would drive to the outpost tonight; all equipment would be provided.  We’d start hiking tomorrow and camp at designated sites along the trail.  Learn to live off nature.  After two weeks, he would load us safely back on the flight home.

That night, we drank the whiskey around a fire.  The booze warmed my gut as he told us of wolves, women, and government.  I shared what I could, college stories paling against the wild.

We set off the next morning, hungover.  The trail was wide and easy, our backs loaded with gear but manageable, and we moved swiftly.  He pointed out a moose track and we made camp and finished the whiskey.

And so it was for two days: hiking, hunting, fishing, camping.  By day four, my lust for adventure escalated.  We were playing and I wanted more.  After five hundred dollars, Bear agreed to take us off path.  My feet hurt, aching with every step, but my chest hummed with life.

Bear was taking us to a hunting cabin a few miles away across rugged terrain.  We made camp again, but near sunset, the sky turned from a cerulean to gray.  Bear disappeared while we made fire and shuffled back later.  He couldn’t communicate with base camp and the clouds continued to build.

The wind whipped against tent that night, beating us inside.  I buried myself in the sleeping bag and prayed, feeling pathetic.  The first snow started around midnight, I think, and by morning, it whirled violently.

Bear said we should seek shelter in the mountain face, in a cave he knew.  Several hours later, we were inside, with a meager fire at the mouth from the wood we carried and damp from the snow.  The blizzard continued and days passed.  The supplies dwindled, and in four days, the food was gone.

I woke early the fifth morning to a scratching sound.  I jumped up and examined the cave.  No animals, but Bear and our packs were gone, the snow at the cave’s mouth broken.  I would like to say we drew lots, but I never told the others.  I ran out, picking up a rock, and trudged through the snow.

Tracking Bear came easily, unhindered by equipment, and within an hour I caught up with him.  He watched me approach and sat the pack down.  We said nothing.  When I was five feet away, he lunged.  I brought my hand around in an arc; the rock made a cracking sound against the side of his head.  I finally felt alive.

We chose a story and, three days later, rescued.  They never found Bear, victim of wolves I hope.  It gives me solace in my lack of remorse.




Story # 3: King for a Day


I awoke and groggily made my way to the bathroom.  Without turning on the light, I dropped onto the seat and prepared to doze for a few minutes.   A splashing on the opposite wall and rebound spray made me jump.  Total disorientation encompassed me like a foggy shroud.  My first thought was the roof had sprung a leak, until I remembered George and I lived in the middle apartment.  

Turning on the light, I was horrified to see water pooling on the floor and more horrified to discover that the source of this water was a newly-acquired appendage on the lower part of my body.  A woman does not grow a penis even if wished for.  I looked in the mirror.  The face that looked back had a five o’clock shadow instead of the few obnoxious hairs that insist on poking out from my otherwise smooth skin.  I realized I had fallen into the twilight zone.  I wondered if Rod Serling was lurking about the apartment.

Balls flopping, I did a splay-legged dance back to the bedroom, and jumped in beside George.

“Whatsamatter, honey?”

“Nothing.  Go back to sleep.”

George rolled over and encircled my face with his arm.  “You need a shave, honey,” he said, as his fingers scraped against the growth on my cheek.

“You’re right,” I replied, leaping out of bed with the agility of an Olympian and raced back to the bathroom.  The voice of sanity popped into my head.  I was having a nightmare.  That was it.   I would go back to bed and wake up as my normal self.

George was just coming out of the bedroom.

“Who the hell are you?” he shouted

“George, it’s me, Dani,” I replied in a deep bass voice.

“Where’s Dani?  What have you done with my wife?”  George approached me as aggressively as is possible for a naked, confused man.

“It’s a dream, George - look.  I’m Dani.”

“I’m looking, sicko, and I want you out of this apartment right now.”

“George, it’s only a dream.”

“You’re dreaming all right.  I’m calling the cops.”  George grabbed the phone and punched in 911.

“There’s a naked guy in my apartment...not too tall, about 5'8" maybe, a little on the heavy side.  ... What? ... I don’t know if he stole anything, but my wife’s missing. ... What? ... No, I did not walk in on the two of them.  When can you send someone? ... What do you mean I don’t seem to be in any danger?  Some strange naked guy is standing here in my apartment, my wife’s missing and you’re telling me I’m in no danger?  For all you know he could be some serial killer.  ... No, I have not been watching horror movies.”

I took a step forward.  George started yelling.  “He’s coming after me.  Help!! ... He doesn’t have any concealed weapons, unless they’re up his butt.”

“George, hang up.  You’re dreaming.”

“What? ... No, I don’t know him. ... Yes, he called me by name, but ...   What do you mean ‘take a cold shower’!  What the hell do we taxpayers pay you for!!!”  George slammed down the phone.

“George, it’s okay.  I’m Dani.  This is a dream.”

“Oh yeah?  Well in that case, you won’t feel a thing.”  George socked me on the jaw, knocking me out.

When I came to, I was still a hairy male.  Deciding to make the best of reality, I shaved, dressed in George’s clothes, and went forth into the male world.  Today, without hesitation, I would visit an exclusive men’s club, walk confidently into a bar, and best of all, pee standing up!


Story #4: According to Uncle Harry



According to Uncle Harry, there was a giant in the basement on High Point Drive.


There were other monsters in the neighborhood, a wolf-man in the forest and a wooden witch in the lake. If you looked just under the surface you could see her swim by, face up.


But for now, Carolina was most concerned with the giant.


“How big is he?”


“Big.”


“Bigger than Daddy?”


“Bigger even than your Daddy standing on my shoulders, and twice as wide. And he has a sour disposition, that giant. Good thing he’s sound asleep for now.”


Carolina considered.


“How did he fit through the door if he’s so big?”


Uncle Harry concentrated on baiting her hook, the poor worm squirming to get free.


“Ah. He tunneled in from underneath.”


It did make sense, Carolina couldn’t argue that.


“I’m gonna go peek in the window.”


Uncle put down the fishing pole and turned to face her.


“Don’t you know anything about giants? They have ears like a bat. You set one toe on that front lawn and he’s going to hear you.” Uncle Harry lay down right there in the grass and closed his eyes. “ First, he’ll open up his right eye.” He opened one eye.


“So?”


“So?  You get within five feet of the house he’s gonna wake a little more and open his left eye.” He opened both eyes wide to demonstrate. “ Know what happens if you peek in the window?”


Carolina just stared.


“By then he’ll smell you, and he’ll reach right out and pull you inside!” Uncle Harry lurched and grabbed her arm. Carolina shrieked, then laughed.


“Why would he grab me?”


Uncle shrugged. “He’s been there ever since old man Baxter died. Don’t you think he’s hungry by now?”


Carolina shuddered.


“Probably best you and your friends stay away from that house. Let the giant eat one of the Dilby boys, instead. No big loss there.”


Carolina felt a tug on the fishing line and hoped it wasn’t the witch. She pulled out a flopping Bream and passed it to her Uncle.


“Needs to grow a little bigger, don’t you think?”


They threw it back and set aside their poles.


“Dinner time. Don’t keep your Mama waiting.”


Carolina skipped her way home down Sunset to avoid High Point. She found her little brother running circles in the front yard with his new puppy, getting closer and closer to the drainage ditch. It was deep, and water poured through like a river when it rained, and Mama said to stay away. Carolina would have to warn him about the ghost in that ditch before it was too late.


It was a mean old ghost, according to Uncle Harry.
  
« Last Edit: September 06, 2015, 06:43:39 PM by Alice, a Country Gal »

Offline Vogel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2015, 03:57:42 PM »
This has been a close race guys. Keep the votes coming! If you haven't voted yet, then you better get around to before it's too late.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 04:41:53 PM by Vogel »

Offline kittykatr

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
    • Daigneault Books
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Vote!
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2015, 09:59:11 AM »
Oops, looks like I missed voting.  I'll be a little speedier next time.   :D :D

Offline daneosr

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 9
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Vote!
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2015, 10:04:39 AM »
I know I'm too late but my vote would have gone to #4 According to Uncle Harry.

daneosr

Offline Vogel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1520
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2015, 04:40:18 PM »
Flash Fiction #99 Challenge goes to ...

Laura H. with her awesome story, According to Uncle Harry!!!!  ;D  ;D  ;D

Thanks to everyone who participated and voted this round. All great stories! Keep a watch out for the next challenge!

Offline fire-fly

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 97904
  • Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2015, 05:00:52 PM »
Yay way to go Laura.  ;D
I'm A Binge Thinker: Do It A Lot Somedays, Then Not Much At All.

Don't take life too seriously, none of us get out of it alive. >:D


Offline Simple Things

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1824
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2015, 05:03:40 PM »
:) Well done indeed, Laura. Well deserved. Actually my favourite.

Offline Laura H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 34448
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2015, 05:22:36 PM »
Wow, thanks guys! Vogel put up a wonderful prompt, and I used it to reminisce about my real life Uncle Harry.  Yes, he really did tell me stories about the terrible things lurking just around the corner. Used to scare me to death.  :o

I'll get the next challenge up tonight. I know you're all itching to write, right?
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

“Don't be like the rest of them, darling.” ― Eudora Welty

Offline kittykatr

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
    • Daigneault Books
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2015, 05:32:52 PM »
Congratulations, Laura!   Well done.

Looking forward to the next.   :)

Offline Laura H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 34448
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2015, 06:49:03 PM »
Thanks, Kit - and the new challenge is up so get to work!

http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=56766.0

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

“Don't be like the rest of them, darling.” ― Eudora Welty

Offline Mrs N

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2319
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2015, 09:36:40 PM »
Congrats, Laura, got my vote. Boy, am I good at picking winners, or what. ;D

Offline Laura H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 34448
Re: Flash Fiction Challenge #99 Winner Announced!
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2015, 02:28:34 PM »
Thank you, Mrs N  :)
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

“Don't be like the rest of them, darling.” ― Eudora Welty