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Valet- Short (14pg) script I plan on directing

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This is a short (14 page) script I wrote that I plan on directing, I'm looking for feedback mainly on the story, though any on formatting is much appreciated also.


The story is based on the decisions we choose to make when we are young, and how these, ultimately shape the rest of our lives. A representation of becoming like the people you are around the most and how desire can be contagious, whether positive or negative. This is something I've always wanted to explore and being a young adult myself (I'm 18), I always wonder whether or not I could have been on a different path if I had made a different decision.

LOGLINE: A high school student wanting to claim his own independence takes a summer job as a Valet Parking Attendant. Only to find out that Valet Parking isnít the only service provided.

I would very much appreciate any feedback.

Laura H:
Hi there,

We ask that you post a portion of your work (under 1000 words) on the boards rather than linking to an attachment. Most members will be hesitant to click an attachment form someone they don't know.

Here are some tips on formatting scripts-

And as you are asking for the favor of reviews, please post some feedback for others first.

Thanks & welcome

Louis D. Thorpe:
I guess it is inevitable to be influenced by the people we come in contact with.

Sometimes, it is best to avoid all contact, to be able to grow as a person and to improve your craft -whether you like to write,
play music, paint or whatever.

I think the happiest people are those you grow creatively, and sometimes, that means avoiding contact...and being comfortable with yourself...

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