Author Topic: Seat Reservations  (Read 4673 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Seat Reservations
« on: February 11, 2015, 05:38:30 AM »
 
Heís a hulking great slab
of flubbery flab
whose doughy excesses and elbow and knee
spill over his seat and across onto me
so Iím caught in a rib-crushing weighty compression
like a medieval way of extracting confession.

And heís brought along snacks
in large multipacks
to manfully munch
before he has lunch:
bite size
pork pies,
a cheap and nasty
corned beef pasty,
a tubful of mini rolls suitably dinky,
a large pack of party bites curried and stinky.

He also smells faintly of cheese,
he could do with a squirt of Febreze

Reason enough
to flounce off in a huff
but the train is too full soÖ
thereís nowhere to go.
And why should I let
the smelly fat get
take over my spot
like the Magic Porridge Pot?

There seems little chance
I could halt the advance.
Would the fat sod
even feel a sharp prod?
Complaints would be futile, I canít put the boot in,
Iím like a small nation encroached on by Putin.

But I stubbornly cling to my slim half-a-seat,
feeling him wheezing, hearing him eat
and pray I donít come to no permanent harm
as another spare tyre flows over the arm.


Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at Ė
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline Don

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Re: Seat Reservations
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2015, 08:47:21 PM »
Reason enough to buy a car.  ;D

Good one, Dylan.
I have a motto: when in doubt, go for the cheap laugh.

Offline Simple Things

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Re: Seat Reservations
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2015, 07:10:41 AM »
Ha!

Enjoyable.

Thanks for the read.

Offline heidi52

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Re: Seat Reservations
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2015, 08:53:48 AM »
"Complaints would be futile, I canít put the boot in,
Iím like a small nation encroached on by Putin."

Almost snorted my tea on that one.  ;)

As always, thanks for the enjoyable read.