Author Topic: Contest entry for cancelled flash fiction  (Read 13628 times)

Offline The Dude Abides

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 362
Contest entry for cancelled flash fiction
« on: January 28, 2015, 06:54:28 PM »

The spaceship landed heavily on the front lawn. Richard watched as the hatch opened and a dog-size orange quadruped emerged. It headed straight to the front door.

“Richard Nixon?”

The voice was synthesized, but better than most computer renderings.

“Yes. That’s a nice spaceship. Are you from Andromeda?”

“No. Please come with me.”

“I have bacon cooking. Where are we going?”

“Our monitoring of your Television indicates that you are a crook. We are the galactic trash pickup crew.”

“I’ve never been on TV. Are you sure you don’t mean ex-President Nixon?”

“Yes. You mean there is more than one?”

“Yeah, Both Richard and Nixon are both fairly common English names. How did you pick me out of all of them?”

“We saw it on your mailbox. Where can I find my Richard Nixon?”

“I’m sorry, but he has been dead for many years. Nothing left now to collect. If not Andromeda, where?

The being replied distantly, “You call it Betelgeuse.”

“Far out. What will you do now?”

“Go home and report that our signal readings are out of date. They will want proof that he is no longer alive and menacing.”

Richard thought. He was not sure how you could prove to an alien civilization that someone was dead. Newspaper reports could be forged. In a few years, their radio and TV monitoring would pick up the reports but that would not help now.

“Let me think about it for a minute. Do you want to come in? I have bacon and eggs.

“Just for a short period. I would be wary of consuming your food. But it smells good.”

“Here is what I think might work. Go to Yorba Linda in California. He is buried there. Maybe you can use some space guy technology to dig up a bone and take it for DNA analysis.”

“I won’t need space technology. I am good at digging for bones.”

“You will need a hex wrench or something to open the casket. Don’t let anyone see you digging him up. Good luck.”

“Thank you, unreal Richard Nixon. I hope we didn’t kill your yard covering.”

“Ah, it’s too water intensive. I need to get rid of it anyway. Goodbye.”

The spaceship roared away and he sat down. The bacon was overcooked, but he didn’t mind. It was not every day he met a space traveler.

"Little red wagon
Little red bike
I ain’t no monkey but I know what I like"
                 Buckets of Rain, Bob Dylan

Offline Mrs N

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2319
Re: Contest entry for cancelled flash fiction
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2015, 07:23:13 PM »
 :D :D

Loved it.

Offline Simple Things

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1824
Re: Contest entry for cancelled flash fiction
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2015, 06:42:38 AM »
Favourite line

I have bacon cooking

I understood completely. :)

You, I bet, had fun writing this story. I kept going Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. :)

Thanks for the read.

Offline Mrs N

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2319
Re: Contest entry for cancelled flash fiction
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2015, 02:53:54 PM »
I can't get over how different our stories are.  8)
« Last Edit: February 03, 2015, 03:27:44 AM by Mrs N »