Author Topic: A Rose for Emily - 1,006 words  (Read 56572 times)

Offline Moscow_Chad

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Re: A Rose for Emily - 1,006 words
« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2015, 07:54:36 AM »
I'm not sure if you can come up with a different transition into your flashback, but there it's quite clunky and artificial about two characters standing around taking about the town kook, and for one of them to be totally ignorant of a part of her lore.  I guess it's not totally unbelievable, but in effect, in a very on-the-nose transition and draws a lot of attention to itself.

Perhaps instead of one man being ignorant and needing the story told to him, both men can have heard differing accounts of the story, and they take turns explaining conflicting versions to one another, 'Rashomon' style.  Having two versions of the story could also add to the mystery of Emily and why everyone is so interested in her, as much of the lore surrounding her life never quite adds up.

Just an idea.

Offline Magdiel

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Re: A Rose for Emily - 1,006 words
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2015, 05:41:55 PM »
That's a great idea, but the problem is that the rest of the plot is pretty much set in stone in the original story. Plus, the screenplay's already typed all the way through, and splitting all the flashbacks into two conflicting versions of themselves is a task I feel I'm not yet capable of undertaking.

I was, however, thinking of scrapping the intro altogether and simply starting at the flashback. Then I'd introduce the two men at the reception in a way that implies they'd been talking since before.
Pentatonix will rule the music industry one day... I hope.

Offline Moscow_Chad

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Re: A Rose for Emily - 1,006 words
« Reply #17 on: March 06, 2015, 06:03:00 PM »
Even if it's too late to rework the entire story into a 'Conflicting POVs' story, you could still transition into that first flashback with the ignorant man giving what he believes to be an accurate anecdote, only to be corrected by the second man via the flashback.  Again, just taking a shot at one way you could get from Point A to Point B more naturally...