Genre: Action /Adventure
Title: Something Fishy
Word count (goal): 60,000
Target audience: 80,000,000 boomers
Charley Manner's retirement in the Florida Keys is full of surprises. A shark sunk his boat, a dead man with a treasure map bobbed up out of nowhere, and a Cuban drug cartel wants the treasure. Charley's training as a former Navy Seal prepared him for dangerous situations but this may be more than he can handle alone.
I've melded the previous suggestions and revisited Wolfe's formula for blurbs while reducing the word count to 58.
Wolfe's formula, with my [comments] added:
1. The first line must introduce the protagonist(s) and intrigue the reader with an interesting situation. [Charley is a retiree, how exciting. No, but my hope is to attract the millions of boomer retirees with so much time to read and dream about a more adventurous life living in 'paradise,' shark fishing, finding dead bodies and hunting for hidden treasure.]
2. Followup sentences must show the plot, and only the main plot, as concisely as possible. [With the helpful suggestions from Hilly, Pale, Annmarie, Sio, and Rho I believe the second line concisely states the main plot, including murder, treasure and danger.]
3. The last sentence must end the blurb with an unresolved question or problem that shows conflict. [The drug cartel antagonist challenges Charley's ex-Navy Seal skills and is the primary source of conflict.]
AQ