Author Topic: The Carpet Train.  (Read 3845 times)

Offline bri h

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The Carpet Train.
« on: August 16, 2014, 12:30:31 PM »
The Carpet Train

Oh how I miss my Daughters and Me,
playing in the garden, the cemetery or sea.
Colouring-in, or chalking on the path,
their friends staying over, or games in the bath.
What is it really, I'm trying to say?
I wish they'd both visit or maybe even stay.
I want to sit down and put them on my knee,
but that would be weird, cos oneís now Twenty Three.
The otherís Twenty One and ready to fly,
a London Town Uni is catching Her eye.

But wait, let me tell you, I have to confess,
it's not the older girls that's got me so stressed.
I miss both my little Darlings who thought I was the best.
They thought I was cool, they thought I was funny,
but they've grown out of me, along with their toys and bunnies.
Like clothes out of fashion they've moved on with new passions,
for pastures new, who needs the old fool?

Let me take you back to when they were both nippers,
of pre-school and nurseries and orange-pop sippers.
The toddlers would play at The Church Hall every day,
until it was time to put all their playthings away.
The little-uns with tugs pulled the mats and the rugs,
but the last thing to go, was the big Axminster roll.
I told Jen to get on, and with a shout she then did,
waiting for me to pull her.
I huffed and I puffed then the carpet-train flew,
around the Church Hall as I turned blue.
Jen was laughing and screaming fit to bust,
while looking up at me with love and trust.
She got upset when the ride was all done,
but she knew that tomorrow we'd have more fun.

The very next day, at the end of the kids play,
I helped once again to put all the toys and stuff away.
Imagine the shock, on my face as I got, back into the hall to see,
the carpet rolled, and then filled up,
with all the little kiddies,
their eyes filled with pleas.

They'd seen me pull Jen on the carpet the first day
and now they all wanted to play.
So I huffed and I puffed,
I puffed and I huffed,
I pulled for all I was worth.
But in that Church Hall, so very long ago,
the carpet-train stuck and finally stalled,
no last joyful ride to finish their play.

The Mas they all laughed and sniggered with mirth,
not very helpful, you might say.
But the laughter soon stopped and they all got in a strop,
when they realised THEY'D be pulling that day.
Cos Seventeen women and me at the back had a real heavy time,
trying to pull that big mat.
 
How they all mumbled and then they all grumbled,
about having to work on their precious days-off
If looks could have killed, then my pockets would be filled,
with rocks and Iíd be thrown off the pier.
But years later, I had the last laugh,
and was reduced to nostalgic tears,
to find 'the carpet-train' still runs, after twenty-odd years.
 
I wondered if there were new Dads pulling it now,
or was I the only one to do it?
Was the carpet still the same,
with the kiddies the ones changed
for new ones fresh for the ride.
Oh how I wish that it was me back there now
and with both my Darlings sat upon it.
Shouting with glee and looking up at me,
with love in their eyes and kisses for me.
                
I miss it,
I loved it,
I want it.



Ammended, re Shvon's advice. Thanks chuck. xbx
                                                                                                        


 
« Last Edit: August 17, 2014, 01:27:33 PM by bri h »
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Mrs N

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2014, 06:06:49 AM »
Ahh, this had a poignant touch. My hubby finds the 'empty nest' difficult. I'm okay with it. I see them getting on with their lives. And I live a bit too much in my own head. (Lots of friends there... :D) Or maybe I'm just not as nice as me old man. :D

How wonderful that the Carpet Train lives on. Your kids will probably speak about it long after you've gone. ;) Nice one.

Artemis Quark

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2014, 07:02:53 AM »
I enjoyed this very much, Bri. Thanks for sharing.
AQ

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2014, 11:41:36 AM »
Is this a rewrite of the one in the MWC Poetry Anthology?

Ma's>>> no apostrophe required as it is a plural. ;)

Offline bri h

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2014, 01:04:25 PM »
To Mrs N and AQ. Thanks. I'm always glad when my poetry reaches others, and they're able to share the experience. B

Shvon. Simple answer, I don't know. I haven't replaced my own copy that Jen cadged/wheedled off me, so I can't check what you say. It WAS on the boards for a while, where I split it into two poems. But I still like it as one, so there it is. xbx
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2014, 01:22:30 PM »
Can't you check against your copy in the anthology? ::) ;D

Offline bri h

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2014, 01:25:05 PM »
To Mrs N and AQ. Thanks. I'm always glad when my poetry reaches others, and they're able to share the experience. B

Shvon. Simple answer, I don't know. I haven't replaced my own copy that Jen cadged/wheedled off me, so I can't check what you say. It WAS on the boards for a while, where I split it into two poems. But I still like it as one, so there it is. xbx

Hello-o-o-o. ha ha. xbx
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline 510bhan

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2014, 01:27:05 PM »
So you only bought ONE copy! :o Get thee to Lulu now. ;D

Offline bri h

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2014, 05:10:25 PM »
Er . . . oh-kay, Bailish. Thanks for the comment. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline rosez

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2014, 11:30:19 AM »
The sentiments of a father missing two cute daughters is really touching one. I wish they sees and likes this. I liked the second last stanza and although many lines are touching, I liked this awesome line most..."was I the only one to do it?"
It shows a possessive affection and anxiety out of helplessness, as you miss your dear ones. :) ~rosez~

Offline bri h

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Re: The Carpet Train.
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2014, 01:38:05 PM »
Thanks Rose. This originally was one poem. Then two. Then back to one again. It got put well through the wringer. Glad you like it. And 'get' it. Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx