Author Topic: Synopsis - just for starters.  (Read 5027 times)

Offline *Lorraine*

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Synopsis - just for starters.
« on: October 13, 2006, 12:21:00 PM »
Hi there

I'm a newbie to MWC and this is my first topic.  I wrote a section of a screenplay as part of the coursework for A Level Film Studies (my adult ed centre didn't have any filming equipment) and I would value your opinions before I go any further with it.  I'm just posting the synopsis for now.

Cheers, Lorraine.

It is early autumn on the Somerset Levels, half way between the Mendip Hills and the sea.  An elderly man is sitting on a garden bench outside a remote cottage surrounded by a flat countryside of small fields, drainage ditches and stunted willows.  He is Joseph Rossiter, the ex-railway crossing keeper, a straightforward, self-contained man who has spent his life quietly doing his duty; with six decades of experience he contemplates the links between his life and the natural world around him.

He’s watching the receding figure of his grandson Finn whose imminent departure for university has provoked Joseph’s immediate thoughts and recollections.  He shares his knowledge of the past with us and uses his surroundings to illustrate the temporary nature of human endeavour.  Joseph has learnt to accept and adapt to changes, both physically and emotionally.  His narration, as it travels from the present to ancient times and back again, reveals his deep affinity with the Levels as he reviews the impact it has had on him as a man.

Tales of the Withies and Rhynes are the thoughts of a man who has lived his life beside the willows and ditches of this unique landscape and learnt that ‘all things must pass’.
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PaulW

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2006, 02:22:50 PM »
Sounds a really good idea - of course it all depends on the content but the setting seems excellent.  ;D
It would be interesting to see more specifically what you're going to have him talking about as that's where the real story is.

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2006, 08:17:55 PM »
I like the concept, but need more detail to form a valid opinion. 

That said, judging by your writing in the synopsis, I have the feeling you can handle the details well.

Look forward to seeing more if you plan on posting it.



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Offline traeva

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2006, 02:05:44 PM »
Hi Lorraine,

Your concept sounds facinating, but your synopsis is too vague to sell me on the idea. A synopsis is meant to plunge the reader into the story and make the reader FEEL the story. I need more specific details about the story to be convinced that you have thought out all of the details.  What you have is a concept. What I want to read is the story. What happens?

Good luck with the project.

Offline *Lorraine*

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2006, 02:17:08 PM »
Hi traeva

Many thanks for reading the synopsis.  I posted the actual screenplay not long after this.  It's still around on the mb if you want to have a look at it.  The synopsis was just an introduction really.

Originally this formed part of my A Level Film Studies coursework.

Lorraine
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N.Mott

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2006, 04:23:22 PM »

His narration, as it travels from the present to ancient times and back again, reveals his deep affinity with the Levels as he reviews the impact it has had on him as a man.


Caught my imagination, Lorraine. My parents live on the somerset levels and there is loads of history buried in the peat, from ancient wooden trackways, glastonbury, pilgrim tales.
Great stuff.


N.Mott

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2006, 04:38:33 PM »
Just read the screenplay, Lorraine and it's simply beautiful.
Thought Finn was actually leaving when we see him walking down the lane, and brought a tear to my eye when he returned the bead to the peat. Felt you should have ended it there, since the conversation between man and boy changes the pace of the piece.
Possibly have it near the beginning, then Finn leaves and the man starts reminiscing, but would prefer it deleted completely in such a short piece. Include it in a longer piece, along with reminiscences of conversations with family and friends.
Hoping there's going to be more.

- Naomi
« Last Edit: October 26, 2006, 05:08:54 PM by NaomiM »

Offline *Lorraine*

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2006, 07:36:57 AM »
Thanks Naomi.  :)

It's good to be able to give this exam piece a bit of an airing.  I wrote it at the beginning of this year after visiting the area in the winter and those huge skies left a lasting impression on me.

As it was exam coursework I had to keep the piece within the word count and it had to contain certain elements including all the direction etc.  I used a voice-over because I wanted to reflect the Japanese benshi theatre style narrator as a tribute to the director Mizoguchi.  I nearly didn't have any actual dialogue but the tutor persuaded me.

Many thanks for your advice.  I really like your suggestions and will definitely take them on board when I try to expand on this original piece as I think it may be worth taking it further.

Cheers, Lorraine
Got A* for AS/A2 so I was well chuffed!  :)   

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N.Mott

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2006, 07:50:19 AM »
Quote
Got A* for AS/A2 so I was well chuffed!

Somehow, Lorraine, that doesn't surprise me,

Patron

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Re: Synopsis - just for starters.
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2006, 12:10:53 AM »
Looks like you are on your way to a great start. Can we see more?