Author Topic: Shock  (Read 3393 times)

Offline bailish

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Shock
« on: July 30, 2014, 03:47:03 AM »
I used to think about the way the sunshine glistened through your hair, that first weekend I met you on the beach, how you pouted when I kicked sand onto your face, but just as quickly smiled at my apology. Little did I know we would marry before the year was out.
But that memory was replaced yesterday when I barged into a motel room and bashed my best friend's brains all over your naked body, the
blood-covered crowbar in my white knuckles.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2014, 03:49:29 AM by bailish »

Offline rosez

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Re: Shock
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2014, 04:28:08 AM »
Hi bailish,
Yes this is a real shock indeed.
The first S is so romantic n tender ..dreamy lover fascinated by everything related his lover...that the contrast it creates while reading the second is enormous.
Very nice. ~rosez~

Offline bailish

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Re: Shock
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2014, 04:47:32 AM »
Thanks, rosez. I want people to go away with a vivid picture in their mind, and I wanted it to be as brief as possible. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Offline Gemwrites

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Re: Shock
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2014, 02:40:46 PM »
What a brilliant piece. Does exactly what it says on the tin.  Love the whole concept and yes, I was very shocked  :)
To take them home to,
The ones that they love and who love them forever :)

Offline bailish

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Re: Shock
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2014, 01:08:17 AM »
Thanks, Gemwrites. Hadn't looked at this one for a while.

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: Shock
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2014, 02:37:29 AM »
holy crap :o

shocking indeed,well written

Offline bailish

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Re: Shock
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2014, 03:46:32 AM »
Thanks, Mastafrank.

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: Shock
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2014, 04:02:21 AM »
I'll be sure to give you your space :D ;)

Offline bailish

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Re: Shock
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2014, 04:43:25 AM »
Not necessary. Just don't sleep with my wife.  8)

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: Shock
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2014, 04:51:08 AM »
.....

Offline Alita Patel

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Re: Shock
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2014, 09:49:29 PM »
Hi there,
Seems like "shock" is the word of the day.  Great job!
Alita Patel