Author Topic: This is Not Made  (Read 2543 times)

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: This is Not Made
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2014, 05:05:03 PM »
I found the image immediately recognizable. Regarding the snapped twigs: I see this working on two levels. Purely on the surface it fits the activity of the scene and the environment in which it takes place. (At least in my minds eye and ear and yes I placed it in a wooded area) As a reader I placed myself on the other side of the divide. I would image twigs snapping in advance of and in conjunction with the coming rope bridge's construction. They would no doubt be muffled, or lost to me completely. They are the sounds of work preceding work.

They are the early sounds of the effort, faint or lost to the opposite side of the gulf or canyon--real or figurative to be crossed and just the hearing of them, or almost hearing them, would be a bridge in itself--Reached by the sound maybe and the promise of more substantial contact.

I have no idea if this is what you were going for T, but my head went there right away.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2014, 05:06:40 PM by CorneliusPoe »
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Tom 10

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Re: This is Not Made
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2014, 05:15:32 PM »
Thanks CP - I appreciate your take.  To me the snapping twigs alone puts me in the woods, and as the writer I think it assumed that the snapping twigs put the reader in the same place, and I think now that it works for some readers but not all.

So, I am now more confused than ever. Soon, my head will hurt.  Perhaps preventive efforts may be in order.  Pospikal  . . .  hmmmm.

Offline 510bhan

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Re: This is Not Made
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2014, 05:20:24 PM »
Ain't no trees anywhere in sight near my bridge. ;D




Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: This is Not Made
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2014, 05:29:53 PM »
Thanks CP - I appreciate your take.  To me the snapping twigs alone puts me in the woods, and as the writer I think it assumed that the snapping twigs put the reader in the same place, and I think now that it works for some readers but not all.

So, I am now more confused than ever. Soon, my head will hurt.  Perhaps preventive efforts may be in order.  Pospikal  . . .  hmmmm.

I don't see a conflict with this and my read. Here, let me explain your own poem to you... :)

but first I have to go find pictures to compete with Sio.

Seriously, I see the whole scene set in the woods. My take is actually similar to Linda's. Mentally placing myself on the other side made it easier for me to render the action taking place on your side. Oh hell, that doesn't help.

Pospikal  sounds good, just no revisions :)

"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Tom 10

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Re: This is Not Made
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2014, 05:39:40 PM »
Sio - Breathtaking pictures.  It is also stupendous to google Antrim images. 

CP - I get what you say, and think you read the first part different than Sio does, and for good reason.  I didn't anticipate that, and now I understand it.  Still, what I was trying to do with the poem is . . . unfulfilled ::) ::)

I am in debt for the quality feedback.  It helps my understanding in a way that will benefit future writing as well. What more could a person ask for, other than maybe something from the back of the freezer. ::)