Author Topic: Thought this was a fun exercise  (Read 2967 times)

Offline Jennie

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Thought this was a fun exercise
« on: May 18, 2014, 10:08:54 AM »
You have to write a letter that begins with the words: Dear Writers Block, it's not you, it's me. I'll post mine and I hope someone else will want to play!

Dear Writers Block,
   
Itís not you, itís me. I donít have the time to commit to a relationship right now. I have a friend who I think might be looking for a relationship. Her name is Krista. I know she was talking the other day about getting a dog, so I think sheís lonely and in need of some companionship. I think you would like her. Sheís a blond - hubba, hubba. She looks a bit like Renee Zellweiger and I know you prefer writers and she is a writer! I think it could turn into something lasting! You never knowÖ
   
We are supposed to be going to lunch soon. I can let you know and you can just like, you know, Ďhappení to be frequenting the same
restaurant - what a coincidence - and I can introduce you two!
   
I have to warn you that she is friends with Pamela Houston. I know you get around and are no stranger to torrid affairs, so if youíve ever had a fling with Pamela, donít tell her -  it would scare her off.
   
You should try to work Buddhism into the conversation as she is currently reading about it. Also, I donít think she is into the clingy or pushy type, so youíll have to tone way down on the clinginess or she probably wonít even consider a date.
   
Iím sorry Writers Block, but you just arenít good for me. I think youíre a nice enough guy, but together, we are a toxic combination. I donít want to hold you back or dampen your enthusiasm for another relationship. Iím telling you the truth - it really isnít you. I just have committment issues.
   
I have put all of your stuff in a big red duffel bag in the downstairs foyer. You can come and get it whenever youíre ready. You can keep the duffel bag.
   
Iíll call and let you know when we go to lunch. I will never forget you. Youíve taught me so much.

I wish you only happiness,
Buh-bye!

Offline Jennie

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2014, 01:14:28 PM »
No takers??
Get some flab off, you pansies!

Offline bri h

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2014, 01:29:36 PM »
Hmm? Been off for a few days. Read your post with interest. But you lost me as soon as you called me a pansy. Tara chuck. ha ha. (Newbies, doncha just love em?) B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Jennie

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2014, 02:18:35 PM »
Pansy, pansy, pansy. :)

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2014, 02:24:59 PM »
Hmm? Been off for a few days. Read your post with interest. But you lost me as soon as you called me a pansy. Tara chuck. ha ha. (Newbies, doncha just love em?) B

Actually Brian, in this case I'm have quickly become rather fond of this newbie. She has been offering critiques and taking part on the boards as we wish all newbies would.  ;D
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Offline bri h

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2014, 02:45:57 PM »
Yeah, I noticed that too Alice. That's why I didn't go all 'pansified' on her. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Gyppo

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2014, 04:42:13 PM »
Okay, just for the hell of it.

=====

   Dear Writers Block, it's not you, it's me.

   I've heard about you, seen how you mess around with people's lives.  If you were a living entity you'd be a criminal waste of DNA.

   But you're a devious little bugger, aren't you?   You're a seductively believable excuse for those who aren't willing to work.  The ones who feel they have to wait for inspiration to find them instead of going out and hunting it down.  Or those who have simply given up because they weren't cut out to be writers, but want a better sounding reason rather than just admitting they've failed or lost interest.  Non-writers are quite happy to believe in this mysterious malady because they don't know any better.

   But we do, don't we?  

   I'm glad to say we've never met, although I've seen your handiwork in others.  Some people tell me I'm lucky, but it's more than that, isn't it?  And you know it.

   You prefer to avoid pragmatic souls like me because we don't fall for your sneaky games when you try to plant self doubt, when you tell us we've lost it, and we'll never amount to anything.

   You probably thought you'd got a toehold on my unassailable bastion of bloody-minded self confidence when my son died.  Three days without writing a damned thing.  Simply because the clatter of a manual typewriter seemed unbelievably loud and offensive in a house of mourning.  That wasn't a block, simply good taste.  Plus being busy looking after my wife and daughter.  Sometimes, just sometimes, there are things more important than writing.

   You've tried a few times since, but you'll always lose because you're a pathetic little imaginary problem.  If we can imagine you we can also imagine booting you up the arse and sending you on your way.

   So be off with you, and don't bother sending any emails, you've been blocked.

   Gyppo
« Last Edit: May 18, 2014, 05:08:02 PM by Gyppo »
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

In the meantime, why not take pity on a starving author and visit my book sales page at http://stores.lulu.com/gyppo1

Offline Jennie

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2014, 05:03:23 PM »
Bravo, Gyppo!
You gave him what for...
You have made us see that it is actually HE who is the pansy.
Do you know, I found some deep truth in your letter?
At least as I have discovered, if I seem to not be feelin' it and cannot write anything but crap, I need to open up and display some pain or vulnerability in my writing, a wound, a touchy or raw spot.
Nothing can send him away quicker than admitting something that has broken your heart.
Thank you for that.
I'm learning a lot from you guys and I don't think you even know it...even when you fire off a quick exercise letter, you get it right.

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2014, 05:09:38 PM »
Dear Writer's Block,
                            It's not you, it's me. We don't really seem to have got to know each other and I guess my prolific output kinda cramps your style. Sorry, but I've always been promiscuous with words and have had several affairs with genres you wouldn't even recognise. Besides, my muse suffers from Tourette's and really isn't very ladylike so all that silence you seem to prefer -- it's just not going to happen.

If you need a friend why not seek out like-minded individuals like a butcher's block or an executioner's block. I've heard they're sturdy companions and aren't fickle like me.

You know it's for the best and I'm sorry if I led you along. I was just experimenting to find out what everyone else was going on about.

All the best.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2014, 05:13:50 PM by 510bhan »

Offline bri h

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2014, 05:12:40 PM »
Hey Jen (great name btw) I find whenever I get a hitch in whateve I happen to be writing, I just go on to something else. Poetry, or just a diary to myself. The writing helps me write. If you can understand that? It kinda self-perpetuates itself. Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Jennie

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2014, 05:26:34 PM »
Yes, I understand you!
I do this stream of consciousness type diary. Sometimes I write for, like an hour or more, and I stop and read back through and find a gem that awes me and suddenly, I'm off. I think it gets me "rightbrained" to just fly off the handle about whatever comes to mind. Kind of like Gyppo's letter - you rattle it off and then see a gem of rare beauty just sitting there in among it all that you didn't even know you unearthed at the time.

Offline bri h

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2014, 05:31:21 PM »
One more post and you'll reach the magic '50.' How are you finding the site? B 
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Jennie

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2014, 06:15:28 PM »
One more post and you'll reach the magic '50.' How are you finding the site? B 

Seeing as how I've been in here almost two days straight, only getting about 6 hours of writing done in those two days, I'd say I'm finding it so enjoyable that I don't want to leave! What happens at the magic 50? Please, dear God, not the pumpkin....

Offline bri h

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2014, 06:18:40 PM »
Seeing as how I've been in here almost two days straight, only getting about 6 hours of writing done in those two days, I'd say I'm finding it so enjoyable that I don't want to leave! What happens at the magic 50? Please, dear God, not the pumpkin....

All the 'pansies' turn into Gods. ha ha. B

You get to self-edit your posts and add stuff to your sig. Stuff like that.  ;D

Oh, and you get the key to the mwc toilet. ha ha.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

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Re: Thought this was a fun exercise
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2014, 06:28:06 PM »
Dear Writers Block, it's not you, it's me.

You see, I'm a nasty piece of work and I just don't like you. In fact, I hate your stupid guts. So get out and don't bother coming back or I'll feed you to my cats. They'd eat you raw.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to my writing.

Piss off.