Author Topic: I知 Out of Scotch  (Read 4219 times)

Offline Biola

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2014, 06:52:17 AM »
the world assumes a hue when you are tanked up. So I loved the poem, might say the same after a keg of palm wine is lying on its side ;D ;D ;D, what really grabbed me was CP's comment of flying rats!!! cor! :-* ;D ;D
biola
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
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Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2014, 09:09:20 AM »
Hi Biola,
That's some image - a keg of palm wine lying on its side.  You have me very curious about palm wine. 8)
Thanks for the fb.

T

Offline Biola

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2014, 11:28:30 AM »
A keg of palm wine is like 20litres of fresh palm wine. If you can finish that, you will be more poetic than  Keats and all the poets, plus you can do the crab dance without the drums  :-* ;D
we learn every day if we want. check my blog http://biola-ephesus-ephesus.blogspot.com, Ephesus@Wordpress.com
buy my books, BLOOD CONTRACT,NUMEN YEYE at amazon.com

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2014, 11:33:32 AM »
Crab-dance without the drums !!  I hope that image makes it into one of your poems sometime. 8)

Offline duck

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2014, 06:32:14 AM »
Hi Tom
damn fine piece of writing, some exceptional images and a picture so very different from your usual. As has been mentioned the N's voice is so clear and vibrant here, but without any apparent effort from the writer. I love the way the train sets the scenery moving early in the poem but the scenery does not actually move till later. The positioning of the street life between the two captures the length of that passing train wonderfully, so time becomes a living element in the poem.
Fantastic work.
Dave
« Last Edit: May 20, 2014, 09:28:34 AM by duck »

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2014, 08:04:18 AM »
Thanks Dave, high praise from you.  I'm flattered.  And glad you liked the poem.
 8)
T

Offline Mark T

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2014, 08:57:10 AM »

What i wanna know is... have you stocked up yet?

Offline bowmore2

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2014, 10:34:35 AM »
Good one Tom, I can describe it as life in the raw. Really like it.

Offline Jack of Hearts

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #23 on: May 22, 2014, 06:23:58 PM »
"Everything beyond my window is a fucking mistake..."

This line in particur landed hard.







J

Offline indar

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2014, 12:05:33 PM »
So the modern-day Isaac Walton/James Audobon turkey wrestling son-of-a-gun has gone urban eh? As Duck says, this is very different for you. Strong narrative in an urban-tough, cynical voice--I like it (but don't give up the duck calls and canvas tents) ;D.

Since I came to this party late there is not much I can add to the already glowing praise. The power of this poem is obvious but there is a quiet power to many of your others about whole eco-systems that have developed in the back of an abandoned dump truck and so forth.

As Always, wonderful writing. I will be looking in from my daughter's computer in Minnesota for the next 4 weeks.


Offline pnokio

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #25 on: May 31, 2014, 03:39:46 PM »
I like this.  The lingering tripping-over-line-conversational ...like an Archbishop / whining again he didn稚 squeeze anyone痴 butt / lately.  It痴 no place to be, this place, life is like that, scotch helps: 奏he sidewalk curls its tongue directly / at me.  Yes.  Lovely poem great opening, 羨 mutt screech-barks over the clatter / of a train that shakes these walls.  Good writing.

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #26 on: May 31, 2014, 07:35:07 PM »
Pnokio - thanks for your kind comments.  I wish I'd have had a hold of CP's flying rats image before I posted the poem.  I'd have stolen that so fast. ::) ::)

Indar - Sorry I didn't get to respond before you signed off again for a while, but I want you to know I hope things go better in Minnesota than can be expected.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you have consistently seemed to see in my writing.  Your support and encouragement has been overwhelming, and has kept me writing (so the world can blame you 8)).  I didn't anticipate this poem getting the reaction it did.  That's why feedback can be valuable, I never seem to see my own writing as clearly as other people's poems.  Maybe that's why I'm such a good critic? :o :o :o    Just kidding. Hope you read this.  Hurry back, you and Sio are the heart and soul of RMP. 

Jack of Hearts -- Thanks for commenting.  I wish you'd spend more time here.  I want to see more of your writing, and read more of your comments.  Soon, maybe?

T

Offline jkaram

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #27 on: June 01, 2014, 01:04:59 PM »
Make haste- get the man Scotch on the double! Great job creating tension within the vivid imagery.  Nice to read you again :)

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #28 on: June 01, 2014, 01:14:35 PM »
Janet, welcome back, and thanks for the scotch. 8)