Author Topic: I知 Out of Scotch  (Read 3674 times)

Offline Tom 10

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I知 Out of Scotch
« on: May 17, 2014, 01:15:08 PM »


    I知 Out of Scotch

A mutt screech-barks over the clatter
of a train that shakes these walls.
Kid down the block stares
then wipes his ass with his underwear. 
His sister
flashes the paperboy.
You damn betcha I'm getting more.

Fists of wine bottles waltz Matilda
in the furnace room. A clear vodka jar
jitters in the freezer like an Archbishop
whining again he didn稚 squeeze anyone痴 butt
lately, and the sidewalk curls its tongue directly
at me.
Everything beyond my window is a fucking mistake. 
Damn right snakes. 
Tomorrow I come home with scotch
or not at all.





Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2014, 01:41:31 PM »
Damn, do I love this! ...and this line: "Everything beyond my window is a fucking mistake. " Right place and hits like a hammer.

Have no idea what "Damn right snakes" means or is doing there, but can't say that I care.

Love the poem.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2014, 01:50:27 PM »
Thanks, CP.  It is an "attitude" piece.  The snakes refer to visual hallucinations reputed to accompany alcohol withdrawal. ::)

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2014, 01:58:11 PM »
Cool, thanks for that. Love the attitude :) Really enjoy this one.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2014, 02:02:10 PM »
 ;D

Offline 510bhan

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2014, 02:04:24 PM »
I do hope this isn't autobiographical! :o :D

Interesting for me to wonder whether the N noticed these things when scotched up and just accepted them or ignored them, they're obviously part of his/her neighbourhood. No wonder the scotch is required. ;D

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2014, 02:07:01 PM »
I do hope this isn't autobiographical! :o :D

Interesting for me to wonder whether the N noticed these things when scotched up and just accepted them or ignored them, they're obviously part of his/her neighbourhood. No wonder the scotch is required. ;D

That's the beauty of that "attitude" it can turn the blissful beauty of birdsong into the cackling clatter of flying rats.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Mark T

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2014, 03:14:34 PM »

Love the title. Really cool poem, rough 'n roller feel, do like this a lot.   

Offline lan

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2014, 03:59:27 PM »
Coarse and acrid. Straightforward and unbothered by third party interpretation. I don't think I could achieve such raw power. 
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Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2014, 04:17:09 PM »
Hi Sio, this is more about the narrator than the author 8), the scotch is the counterweight to the N.'s view of the world, or the part of it he sees.

CP - well said. :)

Mark, Ian - thanks for the kind comments.

T

Offline lmpate

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2014, 04:19:10 PM »
I truly enjoyed reading this.  I have to admit the title grabbed me.  The reader can feel the depression, discouragement and the need to drown out the backgrounds to his life.  Well penned.

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2014, 04:46:53 PM »
Hi Impate,
Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

Offline heidi52

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2014, 05:52:06 PM »
Wow, so different, and really wonderful. Well done you captured the N's voice/attitude perfectly.

Scotch sounded a little posh for the neighborhood, but I assume it meant the N knew better days. Enjoyed the read.

Offline Tom 10

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2014, 06:04:01 PM »
Hi Heidi,
Thank you.  At liquor stores in this area there is a bottom shelf also for scotch. 8)

Offline bobby801

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Re: I知 Out of Scotch
« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2014, 07:54:14 PM »
Wow ... great imagery. I'd leave out the line about the snakes in the last stanza.

I loved this poem. It's real!

Bobby