Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)

[Mark T]

This means you too, Sio.

Hey Bri, nutter yeah but more for creating my own mini-monster here, at least when you get to set the exercise you get a pass - let's hope some poetry fiend like eastwig doesn't get into power here and start setting devilishly difficult exercises...

[510bhan]

[bri h]

This means you too, Sio.

You're jokin' Ain'cha? She's drooling now. Totally in her element. 

Hiya sweaty sweety. 

[510bhan]

Hello luvver, lugger, lubber, Bri'.

[Mark T]

I know bri, almost crapped myself when i saw the below... changing the name of this thread to the Don't Let Sio Win thread while we all maintain an air of literary aloofness.

[bri h]

(sighs) Mark, mark, mark, mark, mark  Don't you remember Star Wars? Always let the Wookie win. 

[Mark T]

What are we going to do? Go to PM and plot against Sio? I know, let's hire a professional critassin to cover our tracks. Maybe Phil the Dude's resting between hitassignments.   

[CorneliusPoe]

Intuition without insight
Can be spoken, but not shared.
Words may mold the shadows
but cannot erase the doubt.

Out there is our birthright,
Light, approached but never neared
illuminates the windows
that we seldom dare look out.

Other men define us, giving name to all we see.
We drift into our roles based on a guess of what to be.

[510bhan]

Deep, man -- profound . . . you took time over this, didn't you CP? Good rhythm.

[CorneliusPoe]

I think I must be having an acid flashback.  I'll take the 5th on how long it took.

And Sio, when you like the rhythm, I know I did at least one thing right Thanks.

[lan]

Manifesto

abrasive art   
brushes 'till it bleeds
constantly contests
disarmingly direct

astoundingly apart
brings on new breeds
critics and cultists
discuss and dissect

essential yet exquisitely enlightened
each line echoes beyond his poet's end

[Mark T]

Good work, CP and Ian, impressive. I hope you liked the form, it's a way of using end rhyme subtly. I'll call it later.

[lan]

I loved it, but I think I took it too literally, my rhyme scheme is not that subtle is it?

[Mark T]

Well it is according to the lay out - the alliteration adds something extra. Nice work. Gonna have to make a choice now - I'm off until much later, hopefully.

Both were good and interestingly, the couplets in both were longer than the lines. I'm giving CP the nod on this one for superior use of language and a well-considered profundity that lingers with the reader.

Well done to the three of you and thanks for participating.

CP, please set the next exercise.   

[lan]

Congrats CP!

Yes I also had the alliterative words actually start with the rhyme-scheme letter. a b c d etc.