Author Topic: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)  (Read 49354 times)

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #390 on: February 08, 2016, 04:03:45 PM »
Your hot words
cut my heart
like the edge of a
cold razor.

My sad soul bleeds
tiny beads of doubt.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #391 on: February 08, 2016, 04:05:31 PM »

Aha! Now we're getting gooder at bad. I like it muchly.


Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #392 on: February 08, 2016, 04:13:59 PM »

Oh my husband, why, why did you leave me so alone
I am lamenting the day I hired a skinny blonde
housekeeper with big tits and puffy lips.
She came to dust but instead stole
your lust and broke my trust.
Oh woe is me, what now
must I do to you to
undo this blue
and be true?   

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #393 on: February 08, 2016, 04:27:54 PM »
The sky cries cold drops
in the crimson dawn.
A lone eagle sores above
prey birds murmuring
like the dog-eared pages
of an ancient book.

He would read the sky red,
rending with beak and claw
unfortunate flesh.

A single feather
drifts down cradled,
pillowed on the morning's
wet and mournful air.


"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #394 on: February 08, 2016, 04:40:39 PM »

He would read the sky red,
rending with beak and claw
unfortunate flesh.

I like ^^ for its weakness but be careful with the rest, it's erring toward the good, quite good in fact.  ::)

Alright Marc, let's take five till tomorrow and we'll see what other postnasal drips get dropped here. Still part 2 to come. Thanks to you and Ian.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2016, 04:42:38 PM by Mark T »

Offline lan

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #395 on: February 08, 2016, 04:50:03 PM »
Ok I take back what I said before on you two being too good. Those REEKED!

Amidst a startling Avalanche of STANK
I
Alone and befuddled by the rank and foul
FURY
Of the senses. As a man with a
MISSION, I
Waft mine arms as a newborn fowl, and
FLEE
Mine own rogue emission.
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Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #396 on: February 08, 2016, 04:55:23 PM »

Rogue emission! Oh boy... that was exceptionally bad, Ian.  ;D

Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #397 on: February 08, 2016, 04:58:36 PM »
This is a brought-forward to explain what's been happening here. Bad poems.   

Alright poets, here's today's exercise to distract you while the drums of war beat ever louder in the background. Can you believe this shit that's going down? Now Turkey and Saudi Arabia are getting nready to invade Syria in the name of attacking IS. Ha ha, Monty Python couldn't make this stuff up. Goddam Luciferian pencil-neck kings and their minions trying to take over the planet... again. What a crock. But I digress...

So today's creative exercise is a tribute to Vogon poetry. Which is bad poetry. This is where the worst poem is the best poem. For example, I want cliches, tired words, capitalisation, yodaspeak rhymes, xmas tree shapes, contorted syntax, bad grammar, and a general fucking mess. But in a classy way.  ;D  Be earnest in a nervous newbie sort of way, hm? The theme is heartbreak and revenge. ;D All welcome. Post in this thread. I'll pick a winner... and i have a twist in the backside tail up my mixed metaphor sleeveless, uh something garmnet sartorial, er -         

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #398 on: February 08, 2016, 05:41:12 PM »
But I loved him, like he loved me,
lovers became we, all three
of us in a menage a trois
a triangle of tortured emotions
like a roiling ocean
with Neptune's trident
replacing Satan's instrument.
Each prod from the lightning pronged rod
made us bleed, incarnadine turned the sea
and so you left me and without thee
I am cast adrift this salty surf
sobbing to match the lachrymose spray
but nothing can wipe my tears away
darling.

Offline kateD

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #399 on: February 08, 2016, 05:47:43 PM »
I don't know when my skin
took issue with muscle and fascia tissue,
separated and headed south.

Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #400 on: February 09, 2016, 03:44:05 PM »


Hello ladies. Sio I believe that's the closest interpretation of the brief - good shit job.  ;D
Kate, I'm having to stretch a little to find heartbreak (okay maybe) and revenge (don't do it) in yours which is a fine bad poem btw although a little long. 

O-kay, so now for part 2, I need to choose one of the poems and then we all have to redo it, making it as good as it can be. Seriously. Need to fix it but without departing too much from the original, sort of balance. This is the exercise thread, right?

I don't feel like choosing, so whichever participant sees this and responds first by pasting their selected rubbish poem, well, they get to choose the poem, duh. And then we have until, say, Friday to post the fixer-upper versions of it. Then we'll figure out a way to choose a winner of the exercise. Okay?
So rattle those ICBMs - I mean, start writing.





 

 

Offline lan

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #401 on: February 09, 2016, 04:49:03 PM »


Ah! Lawniferous springtime!
How doth thine effluvious humors inspire rhyme,
As still somnolent dronings of buzzing drones
Far from the madding madmen and the other ones
I contemplate thine succulent blossom
And wallow like a geil Opossum


Be glad I didn't post the rogue emission one
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Offline Mark T

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #402 on: February 10, 2016, 01:04:49 AM »

Okay thanks Ian. So just to be clear, we now take the above poem and rework it to make it as good as possible while still remaining recognizable. That includes you too, Ian. By Friday.

Offline kateD

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #403 on: February 10, 2016, 08:25:27 AM »
Yikes!

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Poetry exercise, anyone? (profanity)
« Reply #404 on: February 10, 2016, 01:31:07 PM »
I hear the grass grow,
time to mow again
now Spring is here.
Along the borders,
past bees, drones,
buzzing, humming,
sucking blossom,
and the lawn springs
back from the rotor
like a sudden thought
or inspirational muse.
The lines lose shape
are no longer straight
but short and sweet
as the first cut,
the aftermath, scents
the fenced enclosure
and at a glance
it passes for neat. :-[


Ah! Lawniferous springtime!
How doth thine effluvious humors inspire rhyme,
As still somnolent dronings of buzzing drones
Far from the madding madmen and the other ones
I contemplate thine succulent blossom
And wallow like a geil Opossum