Author Topic: Start of a horror short story.  (Read 5472 times)

Offline LauraL

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Re: Start of a horror short story.
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2014, 11:56:07 PM »
This is an interesting beginning. I agree with some of the suggestions for tightening it up and moving it along, but I think it looks like something I'd like to keep reading. Introduce a problem with more detail soon, though, to move the story along. Good job! Keep going!

Offline La Mouquette

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    • The Hanging of Margaret Dickson
Re: Start of a horror short story.
« Reply #16 on: April 07, 2014, 07:39:30 AM »
For me, a good horror story needs a sense of menace or a sinister aspect from the onset.

Build tension and menace from the very beginning, to immediately hook the reader.

As the others have stated, keep going, and well done.

La M
A person without knowledge is like a flower with no scent.

Offline Jackson_Leigh

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Re: Start of a horror short story.
« Reply #17 on: April 07, 2014, 09:22:32 AM »
Hello,

One of the reasons it didn't work for me was that I did not care enough about your MC to continue reading. I would like to get to know him a little better before something bad was to happen. I also can't picture him inside my head, you might want to include some details to expand your character. Continue writing I can't wait to see what you do with this.
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