Author Topic: Show Dogs in Transit  (Read 1727 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 460
Show Dogs in Transit
« on: April 07, 2014, 04:43:08 AM »

I panicked and tried not to shunt
the slow-moving Volvo in front
Iíd just seen a car sticker there
which warned me I had to beware:

Caution it warned me in red
- Show Dogs in Transit it said.

So I drove with the care that I normally lack
when Iíve just got a couple of kids in the back
and stopped giving in to those murderous itches
to barge other road users off into ditches.
And I thought of the terrible errors I make
like closing my eyes when I overtake,
for they werenít just a couple of mongrels you know -
these were Pedigree Dogs on their way to a show.

And these Show Dogs were Ďin transití in a travelling salon,
not for them a tatty tartan rug to lie upon.
They lounge like Mogul emperors on beds of finest silk,
they graze on luscious titbits and bathe in assesí milk,
sultry maidens waft their brow with gently cooling fronds,
with more cosmetic pampering than Mafiosi blondes.
And as with eastern potentates whose every word is law
you bow in humble deference and gaze on them in awe.

Hence the special warning sign to make the message clear:
Humans are expendable but Show Dogs are in here.

If ever, one day, Iím eccentric and rich
I might just give in to that dangerous itch.
At the point of gun in an armoured Humvee
Iíll force them to stop and surrender to me.
ĎButÖ.show dogsí theyíll splutter in incomprehension,
assuming their sign hasnít reached my attention.
With a firmness of will they could scarcely envision
theyíll be dragged to the scene of some tragic collision.
Iíll point out the impact on so many lives:
the children, the parents, the husbands and wives.
And then as the ambulance races away
Iíll turn to the vacuous couple and say:
ĎAnd thatís why weíre cautious you dog-obsessed nuts,
NOT for your PRECIOUS SODDING OVER-PAMPERED INTER-BRED MUTTS!í
OK???!!!!



Then Iíll go home for some tea and a rest.
Iíll feel a lot better with that off my chest.





Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at Ė
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline Mrs N

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2319
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2014, 05:12:20 AM »
Oh my, another laugh out loud poem. I know exactly what you mean with the warning stickers as if without them you'd drive like a nutter.

By the way, love my (your) book!!!  ;D

Offline bri h

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18523
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2014, 05:41:57 AM »
Great work again, Dyl. Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline CorneliusPoe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3512
    • Cognitive drift
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2014, 12:56:42 PM »
This is great. Thanks for sharing it.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline DGSquared

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8963
  • May the farce be with you.
    • Station Shorts
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2014, 04:19:30 AM »
I was rooting for you all the way. Fun read.

It's also impressive that you didn't give in to the 'B' word.

Looks like the makings of a children's book, Bill Peet style.  The Caboose Who Got Loose, only not.
Illustrations to follow?


"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A childís life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Offline Poggy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 132
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2014, 02:36:02 AM »
As they say in the black country
' Its Bostin'

JewelAS53

  • Guest
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2014, 05:29:39 AM »
Ah Dylan,
Here where I live it's horses in transit drawn by nutters who can't drive their towing 4x4

Would love to read what you'd do with that ;)

Offline fatoonch

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 99
Re: Show Dogs in Transit
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2014, 06:10:28 AM »
Fantastic.