Author Topic: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)  (Read 16952 times)

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« on: March 03, 2014, 04:41:58 PM »
and I know how everyone likes formal verse :)

Workaday

(first appeared in "The Lyric", Volume 73, No.1  - Winter 1993)

Awake again to tasks and daily ways;
Reluctant rise to foot the well worn soil,
the stomach calls, the spirit set, obeys;
surrenders contemplation for the toil.

Plunged from a slumberous sanctum into moil,
the mind proscribed to nigglings magnifies
each feather-weighted doing to a deed,
each step to leap, each act to enterprise.
The flesh, disdainful, strives to solemnize
the squalid thoughts which witlessly obey;
that void of sovereign value hold the prize
of sustenance for the ensuing day.

The torpid night serves only to restore
sufficient dint to propagate the chore.

-me (but I was using my middle name back then to look literary :P)
« Last Edit: March 03, 2014, 05:09:37 PM by CorneliusPoe »
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2014, 04:54:11 PM »
Jay-sus! You're feekin good. I mean very good. Imo. I can't find anything to pick at here. To me, even the almost-out-dated mode of speech is kinda spot on and apropos for this poem. Goin' back for another read. There has to be something wrong with it. There has to be. I just have to find it?  B   ;D
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2014, 04:57:23 PM »
Thanks Bri,

It looks like I ate an old thesaurus. A couple lines I'm still proud of and I still hate meaningless tasks like paying the bills and stuff.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2014, 05:03:06 PM »
Yeah, but surely this comes under the banner of 'living in the mundane and lifting it higher?' B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2014, 05:05:22 PM »
Ahah! Knew if I looked long enough . . .

the stomach calls, the spirt set, obeys;

And you call yourself a 'poet?'  ;D
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2014, 05:11:46 PM »
I have no idea what you're talking about...

edit? what edit?

Thanks, Bri.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2014, 05:20:23 PM »
I have no idea what you're talking about...

edit? what edit?

Thanks, Bri.

 ;)
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline heidi52

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2014, 05:49:59 PM »
You tackled the quotidian grind and were able to express it in a unique voice, some of those lines are just KILLER. Nice writing, I wouldn't think of messing with it.

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2014, 06:12:25 PM »
Sorry CP. I didn't realise when I first posted my comments, that you'd posted in The Gallery. Apologies to the Mods if I bent any rules. Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2014, 06:22:54 PM »
Sorry CP. I didn't realise when I first posted my comments, that you'd posted in The Gallery. Apologies to the Mods if I bent any rules. Bri.

But Dude, You put the i back in spirit!
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Offline bri h

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2014, 06:23:40 PM »
But Dude, You put the i back in spirit!

SSHHhhhhhhhhhh!
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Tom 10

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2014, 07:19:31 PM »
Putting the I back in spirit -- a worthy endeavor.  8)

Awesome writing CP, this is very very nice-- readable, understandable (lucid ::))  all of the things to which the rest of us aspire.

Dumb question -- is this a sonnet?   

Offline CorneliusPoe

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Re: Poem: Workaday (because it's Monday)
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2014, 07:34:47 PM »
Putting the I back in spirit -- a worthy endeavor.  8)

Awesome writing CP, this is very very nice-- readable, understandable (lucid ::))  all of the things to which the rest of us aspire.

Dumb question -- is this a sonnet?  

It is or I would have dropped the horrid last couplet. It's a bit of a hybrid in terms of rhyme scheme.

Thanks for the kind words. T. and to you, Heidi.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery