Author Topic: Whistles and bells. 880 words. UK Sitcom script. Strong language.  (Read 10350 times)

Offline irallan

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Re: Whistles and bells. 880 words. UK Sitcom script. Strong language.
« Reply #30 on: February 11, 2014, 11:22:53 AM »
Humor has always been a way for mankind to investigate delicate topics....and as always depends on the delivery...I dont think there is any topic sacrosanct from humor...but it is important to be relevant to your script and characters ...not just put in for funnies sake...guess it depends .say with something like tourettes if the complaint and it symptoms are the vehicle for the humor not the subject of the humor...if you get my meaning here...for me the "kiddy Fiddle " joke was ok..as long as its a part of the father character to innocently say shocking things not realizing the meaning...not just as a cheap laugh at child abuse..Thats where I believe you could win or fail with this...make sure the humor is relevant to the character..
"You can take the boy out of the country...."

Offline cloudchampion

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Re: Whistles and bells. 880 words. UK Sitcom script. Strong language.
« Reply #31 on: February 16, 2014, 02:00:46 PM »
I'm not too fond of the mentioning something funny then cutting to show that scene. Especially not as frequently as you've done. Seems a bit family guy-esque (family guy did it really well but I dont think we need another).

It seems a bit contrived. Have you watched Gavin & Stacey? Brilliant British comedy, like people have said the humour derives from quirky characters.

I think you could do with a tad more action. Is Debbie laying in bed for the entirety of the first scene? All Richard does is winks at Debbie, twice? Doesn't look at her in any way?

Also check out bbc writers room script library, I saw they've got an episode of Mongrels on there, if that's the sort of thing you're going for could be worth checking out.