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Once more to the lake

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Kap25965:
 can you guys tell me , if i still have a lot of grammar mistake. Thank you.

Waking up next to the nature is beautiful. E.B White describes his revisit of the lake using descriptive writing in his essay, “Once More to the Lake.”  Some of the elements of descriptive writing are sensory details, figurative language, dominant impression, precise language and organization.  White uses good sensory details over his essay describing early morning. White writes about the smell of wet woods whose scent entering through the screen which shows a good sense of nature of the lake. A good example of figurative language would be when White sees the illusion of his child become him, and him becoming his father when the child secretly goes out for canoeing.  White gives an amazing image of the lake using August in a summer time. I like how he explains farmhouse, restaurant, swimming area, and fishing area of the lake. It gives a dominant impression of the lake. White used perfect vivid words and organization from the begging to the end. He starts with his first visit, then morning, fishing time, evening time and the last day of the week.
The lake was same since 1904 except few changes. As White describe the first morning fishing, he remembers the moss in the bait, same green boat and dragonfly.  As he sees his child looking at dragonfly, he sees the reflection of his childhood. It is dragonfly that convinces him that everything was same, but it was not.  It reminds me of a phrase “Like father, like son.” As White heads up to the farmhouse to dinner through dusty field, he notices two tracks instead of three. A direct quote from the essay “There had been jollity and peace and goodness. The arriving had been so big a business in itself, at the railway station the farm wagon drawn up, the first smell of the pine-laden air.” White did not like the way he arrived this time, because he sneaked into car and parked under a tree close to the camp. White did not like it because there was no loud wonderful fuss about trunks.  Peace was not there anymore because of the unfamiliar nervous sound of the outboard motors. The taste of root beer and sarsaparilla was not there anymore, there was only Coca-Cola. This essay gives the reality of a lake through descriptive writing. The lake was never a memory but a time machine with a bit of change.

Rocko Polo:
Below are words that will fix many. Please check and see where they are useful.

the

a

in

for

experienced

beginning

describes

nerve-wracking

he

positive
-----------------------------------


example:

The lake was same since 1904 except few changes.


The lake was [the] same since 1904 except [for a] few changes.



510bhan:
Some areas you might want to look at again. JMO. ;)



Waking up next to the nature is beautiful. E.B White describes his revisit of the lake using descriptive writing in his essay, “Once More to the Lake.”  Some of the elements of descriptive writing elements are sensory details, figurative language, dominant impression, precise language and organization.  White uses good sensory details over his essay describing early morning. White writes about the smell of wet woods. whose Its scent entering through the screen which shows a good sense of nature of the lake. A good example of figurative language would be when White sees the illusion of his child become him, and him becoming his father when the child secretly goes out for canoeing.  White gives an amazing image of the lake using August in a summer time. I like how he explains The farmhouse, restaurant, swimming area, and fishing area of the lake descriptions It gives a dominant impression of the lake. White uses perfect vivid words and organization throughout. from the beginning to the end. He starts with his first visit, then morning, fishing time, evening time and the last day of the week.

The lake was same Since 1904 the lake had changed little. except few changes. As White describes the first morning fishing, he remembers the moss in the bait, the same green boat and the dragonfly.  As he sees his child looking at the dragonfly, he sees the reflection of his childhood. It is the dragonfly that convinces him that everything was the same, but it was not. 

It reminds me of a phrase “Like father, like son.” As White heads up to the farmhouse to dinner through a dusty field, he notices two tracks instead of three. A direct quote from the essay “There had been jollity and peace and goodness. The arriving had been so big a business in itself, at the railway station the farm wagon drawn up, the first smell of the pine-laden air.” White did not like the way he arrived this time, because he sneaked into in by car and parked under a tree close to the camp. White did not like it because there was no loud wonderful fuss about trunks.  Peace had disappeared was not there anymore because of the unfamiliar nervous sound of the outboard motors. The taste of root beer and sarsaparilla was not there anymore, there was only Coca-Cola. This essay gives the reality of a lake through descriptive writing. The lake was never a memory but a time machine with a bit of change.

Nimyth:
Editing is really, really hard, most really good editors are born. I have a very difficult time with it, and no matter how careful I am I always miss quite a few 'mistakes'. I do not think we can post links, but if you do a web search you can find them. One that I can think of is Purdue Proofreading OWL courses, Berkeley also has a few good ones. There are some pretty good 'free' online mini-courses that will give you a bit of help with editing for grammar and syntax.

Nimyth:
One more try I left our a few words there lol. Search for free online proofreading/editing classes... lol. I found them to be  very helpful.

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