Author Topic: New Wine for the Old Corpse  (Read 1747 times)

Offline Tom 10

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New Wine for the Old Corpse
« on: January 07, 2014, 11:19:19 AM »




New Wine for the Old Corpse

We arrive on polished stilts to watch
the Gas Heart from preferred balcony seating,
to learn a small price is the harder to pay.

Honored poets, honored pets, we stage
our own funeral.  We write with careful words
but never write the word itself.

When convenient, we advocate
lucidity.

We frequent pawnshops seeking
the world's best lily-milk soap,
later lullaby milk straight from the cow.

Down the alley laze exquisite cadavers.
We arch ourselves toward shining rails
around a distant curve to Vienna.



Offline jkaram

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 01:43:11 PM »
Boy, Vienna sure is getting popular around here  :D ;). I especially enjoyed the fourth stanza. Really nice word play and sonics. I think the couple is writing their wills and there's some nice imagery around that. For some reason I'm not getting how it all ties together. Overall, I really enjoyed this piece.

J

Offline bri h

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 03:00:06 PM »
Six 'we's. Tom. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Tom 10

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 03:40:18 PM »

jk - Thanks. Glad you liked, there a little mish-mash to it. :)
Yes bri, six.  Exact count :)


Offline bri h

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2014, 03:46:18 PM »
Do I get a finder's fee?  ;D
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Tom 10

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2014, 03:49:29 PM »
oui (x6)

Offline 510bhan

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2014, 07:16:52 AM »
Hi Tom -- great the way this can be read all serious and sonorously yet can also be a playful read. Sheesh, if only we had the words, eh? ;D ;D ;D

Offline Tom 10

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2014, 08:52:38 AM »
Good observation, Sio.  and yes, if we only had the words! :-\ :o :-X ::) >:( ;D :D ;)

Offline drab

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2014, 09:42:05 PM »
When convenient, we advocate
lucidity.

We frequent pawnshops seeking
the world's best lily-milk soap,
later lullaby milk straight from the cow.

Love this T.
Specially these. They're so good I'll forgive 'milk' X 2.
Regards
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline indar

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2014, 10:29:08 PM »
Quote
We write with careful words
but never write the word itself.

And I especially like this.

I feel the poem has much to do with ageing--it has its advantages but we all know how the story ends.

Offline Tom 10

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Re: New Wine for the Old Corpse
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2014, 10:54:37 PM »
Hi drab,
Thanks for your feedback.  A poet that I'm reading again uses a single repeat rather effectively and I have been attempting to learn how to do that.  I see I'm not there with this poem, but appreciate your forgiveness of the milk repeat.  :)

Hi Indar,
It seems that aging, death, dying is starting to find its way more often into what I write these days.  I know this skates the far edge of coherence, but what can I say? :)

Thanks for commenting.
 :)
T