Author Topic: He Won’t Reverse the Decision  (Read 7631 times)

Offline Mark H

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 19722
  • Middleclass Machismo now available.
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2014, 04:35:04 PM »
Interesting, but lacking verisimilitude.
Buy Bristle Side Down, The Man Who Wore Brown Shoes and Middleclass Machismo here:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=570142

If poetry is not your thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PueM04F0Qz8 or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zm8cj9MGg

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2014, 04:55:54 PM »
Thanks, Mark -- true, rather 'fantastical', difficult to project but I hoped it would raise some questions for the reader beyond the words used for  this 'story'. ;)

Maybe I could get a free pass based on fact being sometimes stranger than fiction? ::) :D

Offline jkaram

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 847
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2014, 05:17:18 PM »
I'm a sucker for a good story, and all techie things aside this is that.  :) I like the risks you take here with your imagination and I think you've landed on some true stuff.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2014, 05:18:27 PM »
 :D Cheers, Janet.

Offline bri h

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18523
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #19 on: January 04, 2014, 05:23:58 PM »
Can't comment just now. I'm off to the bathroom to do some 'research.' (for once I'm going to use an in context) heh heh. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2014, 05:30:42 PM »
 :-X :D

Offline Chizzy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 934
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #21 on: January 04, 2014, 06:04:07 PM »
Works for me. The poem, that is. Unexpected subject matter but oddly refreshing. Good stuff.
This is not an exit.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #22 on: January 04, 2014, 06:07:46 PM »
Thank, Chizzy, just exploring possibilities regarding labels worn by folk, what is important to them and whether people can change - and importantly if others would accept the new version.


Next stop Katois and why they choose the lifestyle they do. :o

Offline drab

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3891
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #23 on: January 04, 2014, 10:54:52 PM »
Interesting read 5. Is there any evidence to suggest that men act this way in this situation?
You might have heard the 'story' of a well known rock star walking naked towards a young girl in bed, when she sees the size of (or lack of) his manhood she says 'who do you think you're going to please with THAT'
And he replies 'Me'
But seriously.
It's quite a disturbing thought that the State would expose any woman to be 'approached' by a sex offender, regardless of whether or not she gets pleasure from the experience. I'd assume that they'd be traumatised to retrospectively discover this fact.

To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline shadowdrifter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2014, 03:32:18 AM »
Hi 510bhan

Fascinating premise and though I'm not convinced that he would change this way it makes for raising interesting questions.

A few thoughts, use or leave as you wish.

Quote
He Won’t Reverse the Decision

Court-ordered rather than elected,
his impotence, once he accepted it,  <<--I would maybe start a new line to give a pause between each idea and change to "Once accepted, it gave him more power...."
gave him more power than when
he regularly wenched and laid  <<---do you need wenched?  It's said in "laid" and one night stands.
one night stands in his bachelor pad
an addict, a monster who used rohypnol  <<--I would take out "a monster" feels too much like a judgement.  Maybe "an addict who used rohypnol to keep the act consensual"
which kept the act consensual
or difficult to prove otherwise.

Enforced celibacy flipped the focus
on to her pleasure – he had not lost
his sense of touch,
nor his desire to please
and the sacrifice of  not spilling seed
seemed little price to pay
for heightened awareness, caresses,
kisses, visual and aural feasts,
tongue licks and fingertip treats
freely given when phallic penetration
was taken off the agenda. <<-- I wonder if you need "when phallic penetration ws taken off the agenda" as you've already said similar in "not spilling seed"

His bedpost boasts more notches
for satisfied partners, now
he puts their orgasm first <<--first isn't quite right as their orgasm is the only thing he focuses on.
and climaxes intellectually,
with far less mess and no need
for tissues or bathroom privacy
for moments of masturbation.
Chemical castration saved him
from selfishness and though
his libido lowered, his sensitivity increased
making this man a lover, not a beast. <<--this is too much tell.  I'd stop after "chemical castration saved him."

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2014, 02:36:23 PM »
@drab Thanks for engaging in the discussion. Is he a sex offender? An addict, a git that uses rohypnol . . . damn there must  be a big bunch of non-convicted bastards out there we ought to label as sex offenders.

Regardless, it appears having has his 'manhood/libido' taken from him he no longer has to prove himself in the manner he did before and with that freedom has ironically gained more power over women because of his selflessness. Why would the women discover what he used to be unless he confessed to them?

@shadowdrifter -- good ideas for S1, but I'd need to take a close look to see if they interfere with the rhythm should I adopt the changes.

Not spilling seed can be a voluntary decision on the part of non-chemically castrated men . . . not often, but possible . . . so I think I need the mention of penetration also.

Although the last few lines are *tell* I think they are what activates the insult/outrage/questions asked by the reader, so I'm not sure if they should go.

Thanks for reading folks, and your comments. :)


Offline drab

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3891
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2014, 09:26:00 PM »
 'Is he a sex offender? An addict, a git that uses rohypnol'

I think we all know the answer to that question!
And 'sex offender' is an offensive term IMO. It lessens the crime. You 'offend' someone by farting/swearing. If someone used a chemical to rape my daughter I/she would be more than offended.
They could be tattooed to tell any woman what they are. A big one across their stomach/chest saying RAPIST, and make them show that it hasn't been tattooed over by regular visits to the police.
 
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2014, 09:40:04 PM »
I didn't introduce the term 'sex offender' it was your words in the reply. I agree it lessens the crime of rape but is alcohol, or a lie, cocaine or cannabis any less pleasant a way for a woman to be conned and bedded? Grey areas.

I'm not defending any 'moral stance' or condoning anything here, simply provoking questions and attitudes. :-X

Didn't mean to cause any personal offence or outrage.

Offline Mark T

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4076
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #28 on: January 06, 2014, 04:30:56 PM »

It's acknowledged that androgen and testosterone play a larger health role for the body than just that related to sexual function. What I want to know is, did he first read a lesbian love manual?

Offline drab

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3891
Re: He Won’t Reverse the Decision
« Reply #29 on: January 06, 2014, 04:50:35 PM »
I didn't introduce the term 'sex offender' it was your words in the reply. I agree it lessens the crime of rape but is alcohol, or a lie, cocaine or cannabis any less pleasant a way for a woman to be conned and bedded? Grey areas.

I'm not defending any 'moral stance' or condoning anything here, simply provoking questions and attitudes. :-X

Didn't mean to cause any personal offence or outrage.

I know you didn't say 'sex offender' and you didn't cause any offence.  :)
But there's a big difference between using Rohypnol and drink/cocaine.
Regards
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.