Author Topic: Routine  (Read 3212 times)

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Routine
« on: November 30, 2013, 12:02:25 AM »
Mundane, routine, life
scored on paper
with dots and quavers,
sheet music waiting for
a conductor and orchestra
to introduce all those Italian terms
that end in o

and when the end comes,
oh, the understanding
from listening to the rhythm and  flow
makes sense
too late
its time to go.
Death is never routine
it only happens once.

Offline bri h

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18523
Re: Routine
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2013, 12:18:22 PM »
Succinct. To the point. A new way of saying, 'We live, we die.' Well done chuck. xbx
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: Routine
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2013, 12:46:24 PM »
Thanks Bri' . . . and you can imagine all the appropriate Italian 'o' terms that apply to you. :D

Kind of like -- we listen to music and are moved by it, but don't fully understand or appreciate it until the piece had ended/is over. :-\

Offline bri h

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18523
Re: Routine
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2013, 12:52:26 PM »
The abyss we feel when the concert is over. The empty space between the music and the rest of the day. I feel it exactly. xbx
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Pale Writer

  • Guest
Re: Routine
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2013, 07:13:28 AM »
I like this too, Sio. 

I wasn't sure if the last two lines helped much in S2. The first part of that stanza said as much.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: Routine
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2013, 12:34:06 PM »
Cheers Pale -- guess I had my sledgehammer at the keyboard with me. ;D

Offline shadowdrifter

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
Re: Routine
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2013, 07:22:08 PM »
I like the metaphor of music and especially the duality of score.  Don't think my Italian is up to all the O words but I think the poem would have great impact if you ended on the O of Go, kind of seems an apt finale.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: Routine
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2013, 07:39:07 PM »
Good thinks, shadowdrifter, hadn't considered that. Thank you. ;D

Offline Louis D. Thorpe

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1175
    • Sigmund Freud versus Carl Jung
Re: Routine
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2013, 10:33:08 AM »
I like the metaphor of music and especially the duality of score.  Don't think my Italian is up to all the O words but I think the poem would have great impact if you ended on the O of Go, kind of seems an apt finale.

I agree. Enough said.

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: Routine
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2013, 12:41:16 PM »
Thanks, Mat  ;) Avec slash below. :D

Mundane, routine, life
scored on paper
with dots and quavers,
sheet music waiting for
a conductor and orchestra
to introduce all those Italian terms
that end in o

and when the end comes,
oh, the understanding
from listening to the rhythm and flow
makes sense
too late,
its time to go.

Offline Dylan di Vilde

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 460
Re: Routine
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2014, 06:05:28 AM »
Siobhan,
I like the concept here but I think youre missing a trick by not including some appropriate musical terms; Presto, Con spirito, Adagio, instead of those Italian terms that end in o

They all have a suitably poetic ring.

And then end with a final Rallentando or Diminuendo ?

Just a thought
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/