Author Topic: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter  (Read 5096 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #30 on: November 26, 2013, 08:09:48 PM »
burro is on the left   ;D ;D ;D

They're good for prospectors / pack animal matched to a man's walking speed.

I figure Jake the bounty hunter would need something that could keep up with the full gait of a horse though.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #31 on: November 26, 2013, 08:30:47 PM »
I cut down those long sentences. Here's how that section reads now.


... After the major and Mr. Owens left, Jake pondered what he was going to do to hide who he was. Changing his last name was a start. Now he had to change his face. Two years ago a newspaper man printed a drawing of him with a caption that read, ‘Cloddell deals justice to the Salinger brothers.

With fifteen or so ranch hands wandering in and out of saloons, at least one of them had to have seen his picture. The Freemont gazette wasn’t a wanted poster but it managed to do the same thing.

...

Offline wanderer

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #32 on: November 26, 2013, 08:47:42 PM »
Quote
With fifteen or so ranch hands wandering in and out of saloons, at least one of them had to have seen his picture. The Freemont gazette wasn’t a wanted poster but it managed to do the same thing.

Plus any other towns people and especially a bar tender.

One nit Skip. It really doesn't matter with fiction but it keeps getting my attention. The spelling of Freemont. All the encounters I have had with the word it was spelled Fremont, in honor of the western explorer.

Keep going and enjoying the development.  ;)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #33 on: November 26, 2013, 09:28:08 PM »
I can change that easy enough. Fremont works. I'd made up the name Freemont not wanting to name a real paper.

Offline wanderer

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #34 on: November 26, 2013, 09:58:40 PM »
Just tossing out ideas and reviews of things. FWIW

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #35 on: November 26, 2013, 11:10:42 PM »
Skip, if you're interested in watching a Western movie for ideas, may I suggest The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance with Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne.

It's a good one to show how a man can get a reputation, earner or not. 
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #36 on: November 26, 2013, 11:40:50 PM »
Yes, I can watch that on Netflix. I let my daughter read what I had so far and we were pondering the characters he might meet at the ranch. I told her about some of the characters from the movie, 'The man from snowy river'. She'd never heard of it so we ended up watching it.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2013, 11:42:22 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline bri h

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #37 on: November 27, 2013, 02:50:10 PM »
Hiya Skip. still an interesting thread and read mate, cheers. I think you can take out the 'man' in newspaper-man. Not needed. Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #38 on: November 27, 2013, 03:02:54 PM »
You're right. I just nixed it in my copy. I think it reads cleaner without 'man' there. Thank you.  ;D

Offline bri h

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Re: Tools of the Trade (1,116) Story Starter
« Reply #39 on: November 27, 2013, 03:04:35 PM »
yw mate.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx