Thanks for the looks drab, Janet.
I confess I’m surprised word selection is an issue or series of stumbling points. Those noted are
skunned, accreted, premiere, dimension and
edifice. To that list I’d add
rotational, pussed and bigger.
One thing I have long been aware of is my strong preference for the simple word over the complex, the one-syllable over the multi, and the Saxon-based over the Latin-based. In that regard this poem is a departure with the many more than usual latinates.
Indar suggests a problem is that there is a strong fluctuation from conversational-sounding language, and that may be true.
Skunned knuckles must be a local phrase, its almost cliche in my world. But I am glad to learn that it hangs readers up, detracts from the text. There’s not a real good substitute but skinned is close enough. Similarly,
dimension is equally routine. Dimension lumber (2x4's, 2x8's, 2x12's, etc) describes the structural components for frame construction - not, for example, flooring, sheeting, roofing, etc.
Edifice and
premiere were considered choices. The first was intended with its realative flavor of grandiosity to suggest the regard with which the projects were approached. The latter was intended to suggest to young boys these weren’t just any routine days being captured for labor. And for the functioning of the poem, I think this establishes N.'s vantage point.
I think the worst or most inappropriate or least functional word is
pussing. I regret the way it sidetracks the last stanza. The idea of the poem is the disconcerting feeling of the N. to see the inevitable abandonment of life projects and goals by an aging father as its
done. Bigger is such an imprecise word and I need to find a better expression of this.
I will consider if the remedies need address specific word choices or the broader inconsistencies of diction.
Thank you all for feedback and I will be re-writing this as time goes on.

T