Author Topic: My very first script. Reuniting Henry.  (Read 2686 times)

Offline me96jvb

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My very first script. Reuniting Henry.
« on: September 25, 2006, 01:28:23 AM »
Okay.  Here goes. 
This is my very first attempt at any kind of story writing.  I love films and I've wanted to write a screenplay so I thought I'd just give it a go!
The story is about Henry coping with visions of his deceased girlfriend Alex. We join the story at the end, about 2 months after the death. 
I've got the bare bones of the story tucked away in my head, but for some reason the ending got fleshed out first!
For now, I think that all I'm hoping for is that it makes sense!  Criticism very welcomed.


EXT, A COUNTRY LANE, DAY
HENRY is driving T-BONEíS car down a country road at 60mph. T-BONE is in the passenger seat and he rotates the rear view mirror so that he can check his nicotene-stained teeth. 

HENRY taps the brakes and T-BONE is startled.

T-BONE
Dude?

HENRY rotates the mirror back.


EXT, ROADSIDE, DAY
A Vauxhall Cavalier approaches from the other direction, rounding the corner on the wrong side of the road. The cars collide heavily on the driverís side and stop abruptly. The front of the car is crushed and the driverís door is wide open. T-BONE is slumped in his seat.

HENRY steps out of the car and walks to the passenger side. He looks completely uninjured. MAN is watching him from the driverís seat of the other car.

HENRY
Shit, T. T? Hey, Sam. Címon Sam.

HENRY falls to his knees and looks through the broken passenger window. Blood is running down the left side of T-BONEíS head.

HENRY (No sound)
Fuck!

HENRY searches his pockets for his phone. 

ALEX (O.S)
(Softly)
Henry.

HENRY looks into the car at T-BONE.

ALEX
Henry.

HENRY turns toward ALEX. ALEX is stood in front of a red telephone box. HENRY stands slowly.

HENRY walks toward ALEX.  He stops a few metres short and stares at ALEX, stunned.  Tears run down his cheek.  ALEX approaches HENRY. They embrace for a long time.

HENRY
(Shaking his head and inspecting ALEX)
Where have you been?

ALEX
(Smiling)
Waiting, Henry.

HENRY looks back at the car and sees himself lying motionless in the driverís seat.

HENRY
Whatís going on?

ALEX takes both his hands into herís.
HENRY sees MAN stood at the phone box watching HENRY.  MAN slowly opens the door to the phone box.

Hand-inhand HENRY and ALEX walk toward MAN.
ALEX walks into the doorway. MAN raises his hand to HENRY.

MAN
Sorry son.   


EXT, CAR INTERIOR, DAY
Dust is suspended in the air inside the car and the airbags have been deployed.

HENRY (P.O.V) opens his eyes and struggles to breath.  His head is bloodied and his legs are crushed.  He looks over at the phone box but no-one is stood there.

ALEX (P.O.V) is looking out of the phone box toward the car. She can see HENRY moving. Crying, she turns and goes into the phone box and the door closes behind her. 

HENRY is bleeding heavily from the head and he is struggling to breath.  HENRY finds his mobile phone on his lap and with difficulty he opens the flip front. The signal is full strength. HENRY looks over at T-BONE.  He dials 999 but does not start the call.  HENRY closes the flip front and waits.

EXT, ROADSIDE, DAY
HENRY, completely uninjured, walks up to the phone box.

FADE OUT
« Last Edit: September 25, 2006, 01:35:17 AM by me96jvb »
John Black

Offline ChipTee

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Re: My very first script. Reuniting Henry.
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2006, 05:07:16 AM »
JVB - there is a lot of powerful stuff here.

In my opinion the near death sequence where  Henry gets with(passes over to) Alex only to revive in the crashed car is as good a cinematic sequence as anything on this board, and far better than much that hits today's screens.

No doubt the script will need a lot of polishing to get it to its peak, but this scene is already very good.

Keep going.

Chip