Author Topic: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”  (Read 2244 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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“Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« on: October 21, 2013, 05:09:53 PM »
“Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”

Pop-pop made it worse. My granddaughter is not allowed to eat candy or drink in her room – none of the kids are – mommy’s rule.

So let me set the stage. My wife, Bunny and youngest daughter, Holli (age 27) are in the dining room doing homework on their laptops. Rachel just had her fourth birthday party yesterday and is in her room watching Dora the explorer on TV.

Rachel wears pink glittery princess shoes everywhere she goes. She had on a long sleeve striped shirt and a light-blue colored Dick Tracy hat that also sparkles with glitter. She wears this hat backwards because she like the way it flips up back there. Her little blond bangs are just a little too long, starting to get in her eyes. Mommy is letting them grow out a bit after Rachel took her Cookie Monster scissors to them so her bangs are quite straggly and uneven.  

I’m back in my writer’s room and from the front of the house I hear, “Rachel Denise! You get in the kitchen now!”

Well holy crap I’ve got to see what is going on because Mommy and Rachel are best friends and Sarah yells like all frazzled moms do but not like this.

By the time I come out of my room and peek around the corner, Mommy has stood Rachel on one of the dining room chairs so they can look at each other eye to eye. In Sarah’s voice I can hear her amusement but she is feigning being upset to make her point – standing there with her hands on her hips and furrowing her brow. “You know the rules. You’re not allowed to eat in your room.”

With a slight pout Rachel says, “I wasn’t.”

“Rachel don’t lie to me.”

Now I have to explain what I’m seeing while standing behind mommy.
Rachel is standing on the chair with her hands raised, like she is surrendering or being robbed in an ally. In her right hand is a bag of Cheetos. There is orange nacho powder all over her fingers on both hands and all over her lips and cheeks.

Pop-pop knows Rachel’s imaginary friend is named, Michael. So when she looks past mommy at me I silently mouth, “Michael did it.”

Being the quick witted little scamp she is, Rachel grins real big, points with her pinky finger and blurts out, “Michel did it.”

By this time mommy is ready to blow a gasket. She’s been trying not to laugh and get her daughter to admit the truth so the scolding can go to the, “Don’t do that anymore” phase and we can all get back to what we were doing.
Mommy turns around to catch me coaching so I got expelled from the room.

While I’m leaving I hear Rachel say, “You said no candy – Cheetos ain’t candy.”

I’m glad I got expelled because I lost it and had to go outside to laugh.      
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 05:11:38 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline Laura H

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2013, 05:12:23 PM »
 :D :D :D Cheetos dust is hard evidence to hide.
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2013, 05:15:10 PM »
Yupper.  ;D

Offline 2par

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2013, 05:51:21 PM »
Oh that's too funny. I laughed so hard that I cried.

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2013, 05:52:16 PM »
 ;D ;D Whee haw!  ;D

Offline Gyppo

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2013, 06:08:01 PM »
Reminded me of a dire joke.   But you'll have to visit the crap joke thread ;-)

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2013, 06:14:25 PM »
That made me smile, Skip.  :)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2013, 06:16:20 PM »
Sir Gyp -- Let me run over there and check. I usually don't go over there because I can't tell jokes very well.  ;D

Nel --  ;D ;)


EDIT: Gyp. Oops.  :-[  ;D
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 06:18:28 PM by Skip Slocum »

Offline DistantSun

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2013, 08:34:19 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D

It's good to laugh at yourself once in a while - why let everyone else have all the fun!
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Offline 510bhan

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2013, 08:39:25 PM »
Classic. ;D

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2013, 08:41:22 PM »
 ;) Thanks ladies.

Offline fire-fly

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2013, 10:18:07 PM »
Yay, a Rachel story, it has been way too long.  :D
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2013, 10:29:20 PM »
 ;D “Michel did it.”

Offline 510bhan

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2013, 10:32:56 PM »
Slightly off topic here, but I was reminded of a woman we met at the quiz whose brother had an imaginary . . . goat . . . who had a place set at the table . . . and went to school . . . in the electricity sub station. ::)

Offline fire-fly

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Re: “Rachel Denise! Don't lie to me.”
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2013, 10:36:09 PM »
 :D :D

Skip, Rach has her birthday the same day as the Snot Monster!  ;)
I'm A Binge Thinker: Do It A Lot Somedays, Then Not Much At All.

Don't take life too seriously, none of us get out of it alive. >:D