Author Topic: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?  (Read 7810 times)

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #30 on: September 28, 2013, 09:47:24 PM »
Should still be in the board if plumjive can remember the member name used or the title of the poem -- simple search would bring it up then. ;)

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #31 on: September 28, 2013, 09:50:14 PM »
I'm a fella, 33 american male

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #32 on: September 28, 2013, 09:50:47 PM »
The poem was.. 'Facts'.

Offline bri h

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #33 on: September 28, 2013, 09:52:02 PM »
(sings)

"Well I wonder wonder who,
tell me who,
who wrote the crit of plu-u-u-m?" heh heh
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Trejj

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #34 on: September 28, 2013, 09:52:15 PM »
Plum, I am John.  Very new, unpublished, just trying to write seriously for the first time actually.

I can relate to you.  You have talent, but you don't know how to bridge the gap and become an actual published writer.  I thank that is what you want to do.

Here's what to expect:  You will get critiqued.  That isn't negative.  People here know what publisers want, and they will not mince words.  Some comments are bracing - cold shower time.  They are never personal (except for a few unfortunate exceptions).

Take them, reflect on them, and above all DO NOT DO WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME.

Don't drop off and quit because someone used big words and knew their stuff.  Don't be intimidated.  In a week or two, you'll be flying with the eagles.

My take on your story is simple: it is artistic, it is ambitous, it had a Joseph Conrad feel to it.  BUT, I found it confusing and hard to read at times.  I also found it a bit too dramatic at times.  And it is hard to feel where the protagonist is going to enter - not sure where the conflict will develop.  It may be coming soon...

But I also see that you have creativity, flair, and ability.  Now some of the very good folks here will help you.  If you let them.

:)

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
 - C.S. Lewis

Offline bri h

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #35 on: September 28, 2013, 09:53:50 PM »
Well said Trejj
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #36 on: September 28, 2013, 09:58:50 PM »
@ John

It has grown.  The 'I' has a name now and the wold he meets through the sweat comes to life.  They live in a place where perception and will create reality.  Ash is real and is the son from a fine den of spirit pups.  There's pages and files and acres of words now.  Part of me is glad this is me and at other times it sucks.  I'd like to sleep not thinking about the protagonists journey :P The toning down of drama is something I will be quite aware of now.  Ty man.

Offline Trejj

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #37 on: September 28, 2013, 10:00:06 PM »
YW.  Where in the US?
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
 - C.S. Lewis

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #38 on: September 28, 2013, 10:00:17 PM »
The not bleeding while bleeding thing is new to me.  The more I experience it the more I appreciate those that can bleed with restraint.

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #39 on: September 28, 2013, 10:01:35 PM »
Vermont for tonight.  Taking a train to Oregon (home state) tomorrow morning.  My partner and I decided we shouldn't be partners.  It is sad but she is right.  She helps me think it was my choice but that is only because she is a woman.

Offline Plumjive

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #40 on: September 28, 2013, 10:02:21 PM »
Aaaand the redwine is typing more than I :P  Sorry all and ty.  Really.

Offline Trejj

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #41 on: September 28, 2013, 10:03:35 PM »
Sounds like a tough night.  Sorry.  hang in.
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
 - C.S. Lewis

Offline Trejj

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #42 on: September 28, 2013, 10:04:51 PM »
OMG what a train ride that would be though!!!!
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
 - C.S. Lewis

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #43 on: September 28, 2013, 10:05:41 PM »
Don't let the opinion of one person discourage you from writing anything! I'd like to see you post that poem again on the poetry boards and see you work on that as well as your GOOD story here. There's tons of helpful people here who'll support and encourage you. You're a writer. Get used to it.  ;D Bri.

Sorry plum. You can't edit till you reach 50 posts. It's a new rule. Go to the fast-thread pages and get busy havin fun. On a good day/night you can generate 50 posts in an hour or so. Bri

Brian, since we're not suppose to post the same work more than one time (that doesn't count rewrites BYW), here's a link to the poem referred to:
http://mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=46830.msg807990#msg807990
MWC Charity Publications.
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight>
The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

R. L. Copple's: http://www.rlcopple.com/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline bri h

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Re: Little story - 1000 words. 1008?
« Reply #44 on: September 28, 2013, 10:12:34 PM »
Thanks Alice. I've just looked at it and I like it.

'BYW?' Wha's this?  B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx