Plum, I am John. Very new, unpublished, just trying to write seriously for the first time actually.
I can relate to you. You have talent, but you don't know how to bridge the gap and become an actual published writer. I thank that is what you want to do.
Here's what to expect: You will get critiqued. That isn't negative. People here know what publisers want, and they will not mince words. Some comments are bracing - cold shower time. They are never personal (except for a few unfortunate exceptions).
Take them, reflect on them, and above all DO NOT DO WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME.
Don't drop off and quit because someone used big words and knew their stuff. Don't be intimidated. In a week or two, you'll be flying with the eagles.
My take on your story is simple: it is artistic, it is ambitous, it had a Joseph Conrad feel to it. BUT, I found it confusing and hard to read at times. I also found it a bit too dramatic at times. And it is hard to feel where the protagonist is going to enter - not sure where the conflict will develop. It may be coming soon...
But I also see that you have creativity, flair, and ability. Now some of the very good folks here will help you. If you let them.
