I don't feel qualified to critique other's poetry so I'm posting my work here. Please critique if you feel so inclined. Just please offer solutions, thank you.
Many years I cling
to your ghosts' fading memories
a dream I dreamed when
you were eighteen
The severed tie
hangs like live wire
your silence steals the air
stifling life inside
I dare not hope
for another goodbye
Your lilting voice
used to rise and fall
over sharps and flats
as my ears rejoice
a Siren's song
It's all I hear now,
and this is the worst thing of all,
the best thing too -
for a miserable
and emotionally ill-adjusted boy like me
But you,
nothing troubles your sleep tonight
moon beams blanket your bed
kissing your face
with pristine pale light
Now I write without reply,
many a desperate verse and line
a withered leaf's whispered pleas
for lenitive waters
of river Leethe
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