Author Topic: Need help with scene jumping  (Read 4228 times)

Offline Svader

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Re: Need help with scene jumping
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2013, 02:49:54 AM »
You are right of course. I've deleted one scene entirely and now I am attempting to "flesh" the rest out except...I'm not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean. Basically I've been adding a bit more detail and more insight as far as the MC is concerned.

The beginning of my story is about a woman who goes to see her best friend at the hospital who had just given birth but is not allowed in by the baby's father. She then goes home and the next day goes back to the hospital but her friend had already checked out so she drives to the friends house etc etc.

So.....to all of you non-newbies, or newbies who know more than I do,  how does one "flesh out" their writing?
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: Need help with scene jumping
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2013, 04:59:20 PM »
Quote
So.....to all of you non-newbies, or newbies who know more than I do,  how does one "flesh out" their writing?

Fleshing out a story can mean different things, depending on the writing.

Some people, especially new writers, tend to make their characters one denominational. In that case, the characters need to be fleshed out more. Not necessarily physical descriptions, but their personality, how they react to different situations. These are the things that allows the reader to get to know them.

Other times it may be that more detail is needed in the story itself. This can be as simple as - instead of calling a place "a small town" which can mean almost anything smaller than a city, to calling it a "one horse town" - "it had one red light in the center of town."

That's just a tiny example - without seeing the work, it's hard to say what needs fleshing out.
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Offline Gyppo

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Re: Need help with scene jumping
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2013, 06:23:03 PM »
The beginning of my story is about a woman who goes to see her best friend at the hospital who had just given birth but is not allowed in by the baby's father. She then goes home and the next day goes back to the hospital but her friend had already checked out so she drives to the friends house etc etc.

Without knowing where this is going I may be totally wrong, but...  I see two false beginnings there.  Your story proper probably starts when she arrives at the house and is still refused access by the husband - for whatever reason - or the couple aren't there.

New writers have a tendency to start the story too far back, but a reader is more interested in where it's going.  If back story is essential it can be fed in sparingly as the tale progresses.  Two failed attempts to see the new arrival is a pretty negative way to start a tale.

Start with a moment of tension, not a whimper.  Then build on it.

Example.  (May be totally irrelevant to what you're writing, but it shows what I mean.

"Why the hell won't you let me see Susie and the baby?  What have you done to them?"

Ralph blocked the door like a troll, his face twisted with something I only later recognised as fear.

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Offline Svader

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Re: Need help with scene jumping
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2013, 11:05:30 PM »
Thanks Gyppo. I might just have to do that. There were a couple thing in the beginning that I wanted readers to know, but thought maybe it was a bit too slow anyways. Maybe that is the solution I've been looking for.

Hmmm.....off to fiddle with it a bit more.

Once again, thanks!
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