Poll

Which of the three is the winner for you?

Just another Friday night
8 (66.7%)
A Map of Wisconsin
2 (16.7%)
Is it a sin to be old
2 (16.7%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: April 20, 2013, 10:00:07 AM

Author Topic: Poetry #73 Voting  (Read 1785 times)

Offline 510bhan

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Poetry #73 Voting
« on: April 13, 2013, 10:00:07 AM »
This was the challenge: Okay folks – an opportunity to practise sounds and be aware of the effect they can have. Your challenge is to produce a poem with at least one example of consonance and one example of assonance within its lines.

Voting will stay open for a week to decide which of these three tops the poll.

Thank you, entrants and thank you, voters. ;)

Enjoy!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D



1. Just another Friday night

Just another Friday night
and short-skirted,
high-heeled
giggling gaggles of girls
are doing roadside reels.

as they stagger past
a party of peacock posers
breaking their sewers
in piss-soaked alleyways.

As daybreak dawns
cleaners start to rid
the city centre stink
of beer and cigarettes,
cold kebabs and KFCs.

I just survived another Friday night
on the beat
but it’s getting busy
down at A & E



2. A Map of Wisconsin

Murmur memorably
 map, if you please,
and chart me a still  
view of the curtilage of Pittsville,
a pamphlet, a hamster,
a mill on a hill,
a dancer–
we use to care,
but not where air feels like
cheese.


3. Is it a sin to be old

It's seven in the morning, the day is still dawning but the dustmen have emptied the bins,
I'm now feeling the cold, because my bone are so old and I've developed a cough for my sins.
I wish I had more get up and go, instead of walking terribly slow with a walking stick smacking the ground,
It's no good reliving the days that are past, when I used to be fast and would challenge the quickest around.
Youngsters laugh as I struggle on by, in my heart I just want to cry when remembering the tasks I achieved,
I'm old now but once I was young, with a sharp mind and strong doing things they would hardly believe.
I used to fly airplanes you know, once landing one on top of a cow that was grazing unperturbed in a field,
The poor thing died, which I wasn't surprised and the Spitfire had bullet holes through its windshield.
Youngsters snigger at this old dodger, I say don't put me down as fodder there's still life in this old girl yet,
They ask me if I remember the war, shall I tell you I ask, what medals I wore and scenes I shall never forget.

« Last Edit: April 13, 2013, 10:02:09 AM by 510bhan »

Pale Writer

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2013, 11:39:26 AM »
Did you know that when I just viewed this offline, I could see the results of the current vote?


BTW - It was a very hard choice. Well done to all.

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2013, 11:53:27 AM »
 ??? Don't know why that should be, I checked the box about being able to see after you have voted. ::)

I doubt it'll make much difference.

Pale Writer

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2013, 11:59:10 AM »
Voters should never let themselves be politically swayed. :)

Still...

No. I mentioned only in passing. It's the first time I noticed that.

Offline Tom 10

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2013, 08:47:11 AM »
voters should always be politically swayed. ;D ;D ;D

Offline sugy

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2013, 01:10:44 AM »
Well done all of you.

I was politically swayed three ways, I almost lost my balance, but maintained it enough to vote! :)

Offline Tom 10

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2013, 11:53:32 AM »
Agreed-- good entries. :)

Offline bri h

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Re: Poetry #73 Voting
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2013, 08:46:56 PM »
I liked em all with one clear winner for me. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx