Author Topic: Bloody Mary  (Read 3167 times)

Offline Graceful

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Bloody Mary
« on: September 16, 2006, 04:20:16 AM »
Characters:

Rose
Zoe (Roses best friend)
Shelby
Elle
Jess
India
Pupil
Girl
Boy
Teacher (Mrs Wainright)
Narrator
Bloody Mary


Bloody Mary

Narrator: Shelby went to play with Elle after dinner at school.

Shelby: Letís go to the quiet area Elle.

Elle: Ok I need to go to the toilet anyway.

Narrator: But when the two friends got there, they heard something they had never heard before.

Pupil: (scared) I saw Bloody Mary in the girls toilets, it was horrible.

Shelby: (confused) what are they talking about?

Elle: Donít have a clue.

Narrator: The girls were so interested in this they had to find out what was going on,  finally they found someone who would listen to them.

Shelby: Jess have you heard about this bloody Mary stuff.

Jess: Yes I have It was started by George.

Elle: Are you shure.

Jess: Em..I think so.

Shelby: Ok thanks.

Narrator: The girls found India on the playground and went over to her.

It's going to be my story, It's just a plan of it.
I've only done a bit at the minute.
Please comment.
Graceful
« Last Edit: September 16, 2006, 09:12:08 AM by Graceful »
Always think positive!

Lin

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2006, 07:57:46 AM »
Have you seen the web site www.creativewriting4kids.com?   I think you would enjoy that too. Its more geared to your age group and looks very exciting.   I enjoyed your script, but I think as we have mainly adults on this site, you will get some comments, but I think your stories might be also appreciated on the cw4k site as well.   Keep up the good work.   Well done.

Lin
Moderator
« Last Edit: September 17, 2006, 10:14:34 AM by Lin Treadgold »

Offline Big T

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2006, 08:56:53 AM »
Hey Lin,

I've just taken a look over there it's brilliant. Some of the stuff is not as good as Graceful's, I think she would love it!

Graceful
This work needs some more pieces before anyone can really give comments that are helpful!
T
Big T  :o

Offline Graceful

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2006, 09:09:28 AM »
Thank you, to both of you. :)

I will check that web site out.
Always think positive!

Offline Barbarossa

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2006, 08:06:08 PM »
 :)
I really like that.
A sceptical narrator will work wonderfully against the defined schoolgirl characters you are already drawing.
I want to be introduced to the chacacters in your cast list I haven't had the opportunity to meet yet.
The title is intriguing - I'm on tenterhooks for the next episode.

Offline nuneatonstar

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2006, 04:30:13 AM »
I like it Grace! By any chance does it have something to do with a rumour at school a while ago?
 8) :o 8) :o ???

I think it has got a lot to do with the rumour don't you
Can't wait to  hear the rest of it!
I have signed up for cw4k it looks really good
nuneatonstar ;)
Emily (hopefully future author)

Patron

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Re: Bloody Mary
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2006, 12:09:03 AM »
I look forward to seeing more. Creativewriting4kids.com would be an excellent help for you.