Author Topic: Watching Paint Dry  (Read 3798 times)

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Watching Paint Dry
« on: March 05, 2013, 04:13:40 AM »
I sometimes wonder why
they decry
watching paint dry.
As dull as drying paint
- that ages old complaint,
that yardstick of monotony
but Iím sad if I ainít got any.

I donít mind at all
staring at the wall
Iíll watch the surface dry
with keenly practiced eye
as another coat of matt
transforms my attic flat.

Sometimes I may notice there
a single strand of wayward hair
or watch at length, with bated breath,
an insectís choking, oily death.
Then ponder on the choice Iíve made
and should I buy a darker shade?
Or wonder could that curious glint
be someone elseís fingerprint?
- revealing, should I go elsewhere,
some prowler softly creeping there.
That oddity alone I find
will occupy my churning mind

And naturally I make a list
of all the little bits Iíve missed.

Through solitary ardent hours
I hone my scrutinising powers.

They do say you could die
watching paint dry -
patiently waiting,
contemplating
barely eating,
shunning heating,
breathing fumes
in tiny rooms.
But dull it ainít
watching paint.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2013, 05:17:40 AM by Dylan di Vilde »
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Offline bri h

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2013, 08:11:15 AM »
Hey Dyl. Imagine you're walking down a street, not a very busy street, but not deserted either. You're not paying much attention to anything, looking occasionally at your feet, your surroundings, shop-window displays? You look across the street, and as you're still walking, something catches you're eye. Hmm? interesting. . .? I wonder if I should cross? But then you remember, there's still a job of walking to be had. So you whip your head back round sharply to make sure the way ahead is clear. . . just as you're head connects with the lamp-post you just walked into! This is how your poem seemed to me and the two words that stopped me, cold. "they decry." Is there any particular reason you used em, that I in my lack of 'wordiness' don't know about? Or are you inviting discussion and possible replacements? Bri.
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2013, 09:49:14 AM »
erm... wot was the question again?
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at Ė
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Offline bri h

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2013, 10:13:48 AM »
erm... wot was the question again?

ha ha. You know what the question was! Why the use of only two words in the second line?  ;D
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline Dylan di Vilde

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2013, 10:27:23 AM »
artistic licence
Sweepings from the Factory Floor - New volume of poems available now at Ė
https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Offline bri h

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2013, 10:31:20 AM »
 ;D Thanks for this wonderfully deep succinct answer.
 That explains so much to me. ;D ;D
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline honiilove

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2013, 01:26:43 AM »
I sometimes wonder why
they decry
watching paint dry.
As dull as drying paint
- that ages old complaint,
that yardstick of monotony
but Iím sad if I ainít got any.

I donít mind at all
staring at the wall
Iíll watch the surface dry
with keenly practiced eye
as another coat of matt
transforms my attic flat.

Sometimes I may notice there
a single strand of wayward hair
or watch at length, with bated breath,
an insectís choking, oily death.
Then ponder on the choice Iíve made
and should I buy a darker shade?
Or wonder could that curious glint
be someone elseís fingerprint?
- revealing, should I go elsewhere,
some prowler softly creeping there.
That oddity alone I find
will occupy my churning mind

And naturally I make a list
of all the little bits Iíve missed.

Through solitary ardent hours
I hone my scrutinising powers.

They do say you could die
watching paint dry -
patiently waiting,
contemplating
barely eating,
shunning heating,
breathing fumes
in tiny rooms.
But dull it ainít
watching paint.

Fun to read!  Very visual! Made me smile and think of the "painting horror's" I have seen. 

Offline bri h

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2013, 07:53:08 AM »
Hey Dyl. I've been going back in a few crits to see if my opinions have changed(its what I do from time to time) I haven't with this, I still think the two words in the second line pulls up a bit and takes me out of the rhythm. But. I saw this with a new sense of resonation in me, and I thank you, cos it's brilliant, IMO . . .

They do say you could die
watching paint dry -
patiently waiting,
contemplating
barely eating,
shunning heating,
breathing fumes
in tiny rooms.
But dull it ainít
watching paint.


Wonderful words. B
Fare thee well Skip. We're all 'Keening' now. xbx

Offline honiilove

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2013, 12:11:23 PM »
I hope you do something with this great piece.  I know nothing about poetry or prose. 
But I think you need to get this out there and into the world. I see a winner! 
Good luck.

Offline LC1

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2013, 02:59:03 AM »
Really enjoyed this, 'you can die watching paint dry' brilliant

Offline Don

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2013, 09:03:27 AM »
Quote
Through solitary ardent hours
I hone my scrutinising powers.

Bravo . . . start to finish.
I have a motto: when in doubt, go for the cheap laugh.

Offline molark

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2013, 11:28:02 AM »
very nice

Offline 2par

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2013, 05:32:23 PM »
i love this poem.  and i'm a dunderhead where poetry is concerned, so it's nice to be able to read something unusual and very readable.

Offline ma100

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Re: Watching Paint Dry
« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2013, 06:55:14 PM »
Have to agree with 2 par Dylan. Your poetry is always worth reading. Well done.