Author Topic: The 'Pissed Off' Thread  (Read 19044 times)

Offline Neghe

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Re: The 'Pissed Off' Thread
« Reply #225 on: April 09, 2014, 05:00:54 PM »

Hell yeah. You are taking it...right?
“Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.”― Charles Bukowski

Offline Mastafrank

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Re: The 'Pissed Off' Thread
« Reply #226 on: April 09, 2014, 07:16:08 PM »
I work in a beach cafe.

It sucks because;
a) I hate beaches.
b) I hate cafes.
c) I'm crap at it.


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Offline thatollie

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Re: The 'Pissed Off' Thread
« Reply #227 on: April 10, 2014, 03:23:58 AM »
Hell yeah. You are taking it...right?

Of course, it's the same amount as I get paid. If I wasn't, I wouldn't bother with the work.

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Hotties are a lie. Beaches are full of fat people.
Never make a decision standing up.

Offline Gyppo

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Re: The 'Pissed Off' Thread
« Reply #228 on: April 10, 2014, 04:16:45 AM »
Hotties are a lie. Beaches are full of fat people.

Lying there sizzling in rows, basted with suntan oil.  Then heaving their corpulent bodies into the cafe where poor Ollie, slaving over a hotplate or industrial strength microwave 'pinger', has to add to their wobbling bulk by feeding them.

"Don't be stingy with the bloody bacon, Sunshine.  I'm starving.  Haven't eaten for at least two hours."

People so pale that anyone weighing less than seven stone is likely to be mistaken for a discarded chip by the flocks of rapacious  shite-hawks wheeling overhead, kicking up an infernal din, blocking the sun and crapping on your picnic lunch.

Drifts of discarded litter - polystyrene chip trays and cups -  blown against the railings, and building up against anyone who hasn't moved since staking their claim early in the morning. 

Dogs who piss on recumbent sleepers because they can't find a tree or wall to cock their leg against.

Something like that, Ollie?.

Of course there are some lovely beaches, but they tend to be rocky, and isolated, and not littered with people.

Gyppo
My website is currently having a holiday, but will return like the $6,000,000 man.  Bigger, stronger, etc.

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Offline thatollie

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Re: The 'Pissed Off' Thread
« Reply #229 on: April 10, 2014, 09:17:19 AM »
Lying there sizzling in rows, basted with suntan oil.  Then heaving their corpulent bodies into the cafe where poor Ollie, slaving over a hotplate or industrial strength microwave 'pinger', has to add to their wobbling bulk by feeding them.

"Don't be stingy with the bloody bacon, Sunshine.  I'm starving.  Haven't eaten for at least two hours."

People so pale that anyone weighing less than seven stone is likely to be mistaken for a discarded chip by the flocks of rapacious  shite-hawks wheeling overhead, kicking up an infernal din, blocking the sun and crapping on your picnic lunch.

Drifts of discarded litter - polystyrene chip trays and cups -  blown against the railings, and building up against anyone who hasn't moved since staking their claim early in the morning. 

Dogs who piss on recumbent sleepers because they can't find a tree or wall to cock their leg against.

Something like that, Ollie?.

Of course there are some lovely beaches, but they tend to be rocky, and isolated, and not littered with people.

Gyppo

You hit the nail on the head, apart from the part about me being a slave.
Never make a decision standing up.