Author Topic: I know, its cheezy........  (Read 4533 times)

Offline Katie S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Me'N my friend in cheer(and NO i'm not blond!!!)
I know, its cheezy........
« on: September 01, 2006, 10:13:56 PM »
it's called Sean of the seas............its a dromcom(what i call a dramatic comedy)




ok this boy lives by the sea and his dad is a marine guy and he has his mom, nany, 2 friends, this fisherman guy, and his sister.




PEOPLE!!!!!!

Sean Vannelia(VAN-UH-LEE-UH): a boy living by the sea(he's 13 years old by the way)

Mrs. Rose: Sean's nany

Andrea Vannelia: Sean's mom who TRIES to support him

Jacob Vannelia: Sean's dad who is in the marines or whatever

Christian Channling: Sean's friend who is supportive

Katie Condain: Sean's supportive friend who he secretly LIKES.........DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Emilia Vannelia: Sean's sister who is also sad (and she's 12 years old by the way)

Fisherman Dwight(Dwight, D, or Mr. Tosher) Sean and Emilia and katie and christian's friend who is kinda clumsy.

Aunt LuLu: i wont tell u about her but she cums into the story quite a bit.




HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Emilia Vannelia: Rose, will you please get me something for my neck?

Mrs. Rose: Oh just a second darling.

Emilia: Thank you Rose, my neck has been doing th............(her neck cracks)EH!!! doing THAT.

Mrs. Rose: Oh! are you ok?! you shouldn't be having these  pains.......you're only 12!

Emilia: Oh, i've been up ALL NITE studying for my big cemistry test. it's woth 25 percent of my final grade!

Rose: well maybe you should rest your neck right now...............

Emilia: But the t-----

Rose: NO BUTS YOUNG LADY. now you rest up that neck.

Emilia: ok............... :-[

Scene 2

Sean: hey mom i'm back from the market.

Andrea Vannelia(mom): oh good, did you get the relish?

Sean: RELISH? none of us LIKE relish...........

Andrea: SEAN! your aunt LuLu does!!!

Sean: OMG. i TOTALLY forgot she was coming...............

Andrea: you KNOW she loves relish! she married a pickle for god sake!

Sean: yea, uncle charlie doesn't really like me..............


scene 3



Katie Condain: Hey Sean, whats up?

Sean: Hey Katie.........Hufffffffff my aunt LuLu is coming over

Katie: the one that married a pickle?

Sean: Yea, they're still happily married.

Katie: Wanna go see Dwight? He said he wanted to see us today.......it sounded pretty urgent.

Sean: ok lets go.  hop on my bike.........


Scene 4




Katie: hey Dwight. What was so urgent?

Fisherman Dwight: (breathing hard) HEY, KATIE, HEY, SEAN, LOOK!

Sean: 0.o ok............... it's a SHOE.............

Fisherman Dwight: YEA, BUT NOT JUST ANY, SHOE, I, I, I

Katie: Ok Dwight! take a deep breath!

Dwight: (catches his breath) I've invented a new way to destink shoes!!!

Sean: oKAY...........

Katie:good for you! i guess.........

Dwight: this is my stinky shoe. I DEstinked it with my vaporizing spray. now SMELL it.

Katie: ......................uh.................SEAN?

Sean: ok i will...............(sean sniffs shoe)

Katie: how WAS it?

Dwight: yea! how was it!?

Sean: OMG!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU SURE YOU DESTUNK THAT THING!?

Dwight: yeaaaaaaaaa..................

Katie: (sniffs shoe) AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Dwight! EW. o.0

Dwight: maybe my nose is plugged..........

Katie: here, what does Sean's armpit smell like?

Dwight: freshly cut flowers  :D

Sean: he's WAAAAAY off.

Katie: yea..............



OK if u guys liked it tell me and i'll post more and more if it keeps getting better! so post if u think it was good!!!!!!! ;)
Hey is this thing on? hello? oh you just don't wanna listen to me o.0

Offline Katie S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Me'N my friend in cheer(and NO i'm not blond!!!)
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2006, 07:10:37 PM »
cummon u guys comments are GREATLY apprishyated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey is this thing on? hello? oh you just don't wanna listen to me o.0

Offline ChipTee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 136
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2006, 11:11:22 AM »
KatieS
I get the dialogue and some idea of what I am looking at, BUT if it is intended as a film script you will need to set each scene so that the script reader knows where he/she is.

Remember film is visual, the writer needs to spell it out in terms of:

Internal or external
indication of place and time of day
some comment on what is happening and to who.
NB this not to be confused with 'Direction'

Several of the posts on here comment on format and there are many books to give guidance.

Keep going,
Chip

Offline Katie S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Me'N my friend in cheer(and NO i'm not blond!!!)
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2006, 05:05:40 PM »
well sorry i tried
Hey is this thing on? hello? oh you just don't wanna listen to me o.0

Offline Katie S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Me'N my friend in cheer(and NO i'm not blond!!!)
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2006, 01:45:42 AM »
omg u guys are RIGHT that DID suck i wish i would have noticed before i posted this  :'( maybe i should just forget about my dream.




Hey i'm katie and of CORZE ya luv me!
Hey is this thing on? hello? oh you just don't wanna listen to me o.0

Offline ChipTee

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 136
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2006, 11:19:52 AM »
Of course you should not forget your dream.

Stick to it, love it and you will write it. It's taken me long enough and I am old.

The tough thing is that scripts are written to a format so that all involved after the writer has down their work can easily see what they have got to turn into a film. If it is a film you want to write then that is how you will have to do it.

But if you just want to get your idea mapped out on paper go ahead, do it how you want to do it. You can then get back to it and format it for Script Readers, Directors, Producers and Actors.

We all learn, most days, that writing is a school of hard knocks - with sometimes, not often, a great excitement when some piece gets taken up.

You'll get there, if you work at it.

Chip

Offline Katie S

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 76
  • Me'N my friend in cheer(and NO i'm not blond!!!)
Re: I know, its cheezy........
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2006, 07:54:55 PM »
well thanks chip, but really it did stink BAD :'( i'll keep trying though. well i CAN give it up i have an even BIGGER DREAM.......................
Hey is this thing on? hello? oh you just don't wanna listen to me o.0