Author Topic: short story-The Young Girl's Dream  (Read 3653 times)

Offline Janice Sanford

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 123
  • aka Jan Tetstone
    • The Spirit Within Poetry
short story-The Young Girl's Dream
« on: April 29, 2012, 02:21:33 PM »
The Young Girl's Dream

A young girl  once dreamt of how perfect her life would be if when she grew up she would fall in love, marry and have a dozen children.  Though not from a rich family the one she had was rich in love. For many years the young girl dreamt of how perfect her life would be . . .

Then the girl of sixteen changed into a woman who tried to fulfill her dream. She married her neighbor's son. Both much too young. After spending too much time alone with only herself, the marriage fell into dismay.  Reality wandered in. After years of being together, their close lives came to an end. Torn up inside at her failure to make her dream come true, the woman chose to settle for the dreams of others. She was willing to settle for a part of her dream. The children she birthed became her dream her everything.

Hard years changed  the young girl  into a woman . She raised the children she loved and adored;  left the part of her dream that had never come true; and then  found herself alone. Alone on many a day and many a long night. Now her childhood dream lay in ashes at her feet, the woman came face-to-face with her life's realities. She was to blame.

Then, by the grace of God, the woman's life begin to change. She looked around her and started counting all the blessings that remained part of her daily life and knew that part of her childhood dream had come true. Children's laughter could still be heard in her day.

Moral of the story: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings.

12:01pm April 29, 2012
« Last Edit: April 29, 2012, 08:14:21 PM by Janice Sanford »

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: short story-The Young Girl's Dream
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2012, 06:08:57 PM »
The Young Girl's Dream

There once was a young girl who dream of how perfect her life would be if when she grew up she would fall in love, marry and have a dozen children. She was not from a rich family but the one she had was rich in love. For many years the young girl dreamt of how perfect her life would be....

Then the girl changed into a woman who tried to fulfill her dream. A woman of only sixteen. She married her neighbor's son. Both much too young. After spending too much time alone with only herself, the marriage fell into dismay. Then reality wandered in. After years of being together, their lives together came to an end. Torn up inside at her failure to make her dream come true, the woman chose to settle for the dreams of others. She was willing to settle for a part of her dream. The children she birthed became her dream her everything.

Then the young woman changed into a woman with many hard years behind her. She raised the children she loved and adored; She left the part of her dream that had never come true; and then she found herself alone. Alone on many a day and many a long night. Now that her childhood dream lay in ashes at her feet, the woman came face-to-face with her life's realities. She was to blame.

Then, by the grace of God, the woman's life begin to change. She looked around her and started counting all the blessings that remained a part of her daily life. And knew that part of her childhood dream had come true. Children's laughter could still be heard in her day.

Moral of the story: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings.

12:01pm April 29, 2012

Offline Janice Sanford

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 123
  • aka Jan Tetstone
    • The Spirit Within Poetry
Re: short story-The Young Girl's Dream
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2012, 06:29:47 PM »
Thank you, that was first attempt at writing short story...

Offline 510bhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 63305
  • So many jobs to do . . .
Re: short story-The Young Girl's Dream
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2012, 06:52:45 PM »
If you don't mind, to add to the corrections I did earlier, some editing suggestions  . . .

There once was A young girl who once dreamt of how perfect her life would be if when she grew up she would fall in love, marry and have a dozen children. She was Though not from a rich family but the one she had was rich in love. For many years the young girl dreamt of how perfect her life would be . . . [ellipsis is dot/space/dot/space/dot/space]

Then the girl of sixteen changed into a woman who tried to fulfill her dream. A woman of only sixteen. She married her neighbor's son. Both much too young. After spending too much time alone with only herself, the marriage fell into dismay. Then Reality wandered in. After years of being together, their close lives together came to an end. Torn up inside at her failure to make her dream come true, the woman chose to settle for the dreams of others. She was willing to settle for a part of her dream. The children she birthed became her dream her everything.

Hard years changed Then the young girl changed into a woman with many hard years behind her. She raised the children she loved and adored; she left the part of her dream that had never come true; and then she found herself alone. Alone on many a day and many a long night. Now that her childhood dream lay in ashes at her feet, the woman came face-to-face with her life's realities. She was to blame.

Then, by the grace of God, the woman's life begin to change. She looked around her and started counting all the blessings that remained a part of her daily life and knew that part of her childhood dream had come true. Children's laughter could still be heard in her day.

Moral of the story: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings.

Offline Janice Sanford

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 123
  • aka Jan Tetstone
    • The Spirit Within Poetry
Re: short story-The Young Girl's Dream
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2012, 08:08:12 PM »
Thank you, for taking the time to correct my writing errors.