Alfiemama,
I must say, you're ahead of where I was when I first tried screenwriting. Good job. And good going getting to the problem your characters face.
No the vehicle isn't relevant at all. It's just to show the scenery around them. Mainly focusing on the kids which is a key part to the plot.
Sometimes SUBURBAN STREET does the job, so you can focus on key parts. The narrative is where you can set the scene by addressing the particulars of the neighborhood (tree lined street of Victorian houses vs brownstones encroach on sidewalks). Or specify the type of neighborhood in the heading.
INT. JESSICA'S BEDROOM.
Jessica a pretty 30 year old brunette is getting up out of bed. There is a beeping noise coming from a thermometer she is holding. Her husbandMatt 35 is lying in bed stretching his arms out and yawning.
Remember to include the time in scene headings: INT. JESSICA'S BEDROOM - DAY
ALL CAPS a character's name when they
first appear in the narrative description. JESSICA a pretty ...
Instead of relying so heavily on passive 'is ing' pairings, use active voice.
JESSICA ... gets out of bed. The thermometer she holds beeps.
Her husband MATT, 35, stretches/sprawls across the bed, yawning.If needed, you can go a step further.
Jessica ... gets out of bed.How does she get out of bed? You'll get more mileage out of strong, concrete verbs. They can complement a scene's tone or mood, and even reveal something about your character. Sound and images (hear and see) are important, as well as getting your readers to feel what you want.
Jessica tumbles out of bed. (clumsy/funny/possibly celebrated too much the night before)
Jessica hops out of bed. (a morning person, peppy, happy)
Jessica slips/inches out of bed. (sneaky, hiding something or fearful of waking abusive husband)
Jessica scrambles out of bed. (Yikes! Did a spider bite her or did she realize last night was a mistake?)
Jessica eases out of bed. (Injured or just doesn't want to wake her husband?)
Jessica hauls herself out of bed. (not a morning person, maybe dreading a task today, depressed)
I'm not saying a character can never 'get' or even just walk across a room. If there's a particular emotion that's not coming across or several adverbs pop up, try a concrete verb.
INT. BATHROOM.
Jessica places the thermometer on the sink and opens up the bathroom cabinet we focus in on the rows of pregnancy tests lined up in order.
Since we know the location, BATHROOM, 'bathroom' cabinet is unnecessary.
... we focus on ...: You can direct our attention and the camera by implying what's to be focused on in your narrative description. This also keeps the reader from being jarred out of the story.
For example, Jessica places the thermometer on the sink and opens the cabinet. Rows of pregnancy tests line a shelf. Or, Jessica places the thermometer on the sink and opens the cabinet. She stares at rows of pregnancy tests.
up in order.: Is the focus on rows of tests or rows of tests in a specific order? If it's the order, include the order (lined up in order by days of the week, months, etc.).
Again, nice job on your first script. Keep it up.
-Maimi
