Author Topic: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice  (Read 1393 times)

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2012, 03:31:09 PM »
Okay, before I do any adjustments I'll wait 'til Miss Alice gets back and rounds out the discussion.
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Offline Margarett

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2012, 04:03:54 PM »
Wow! You guys are wonderful teachers. I see now that perhaps I should have stayed right here in "MyWritersCircle" instead of paying for college courses in hopes of improving my writing skills.
I have learned more this week than I did during the last two years of schooling.

( Plucks out my blue book on Grammar).
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After all they are free!  " SMILE "

Offline 510bhan

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2012, 04:07:36 PM »
Teachers? :o  ;D    Learners. ;) :D :D :D
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2012, 04:12:52 PM »
Shoot yeah, I'm in the student lounge too. I'm lucky I don't have to wear the pointy hat.  ;D
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Offline 510bhan

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2012, 04:46:46 PM »
You can borrow mine when I'm allowed off the stool. ;D  At least I admitted I was wrong with the capital letter thing. :-[ Means I only have to spend 30mins there. :D :D :D
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2012, 05:05:09 PM »
Not to beat a dead horse, but have you considered using Ellipsis instead?

Ellipsis = . . .

It would look like this:

And while you are not a flighty damsel” . . . he waited for Megan to kneel on their bedding before crawling toward her. “Allow me to impress my wife with my readied eye, wit, and quickened hand that I might protect her from, Bolwoggles and Bugbear if they dare approach my love’s beauty.”

Check out this site, it has lots of good info a all kinds of punctuation.

http://www.writingforward.com/category/grammar/punctuation-marks
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2012, 05:14:05 PM »
No-no, please. Not a dead horse at all. 'Class time'  I didn't use the ellipse at first because I hadn't thought about doing so and then when I read this- http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/

Nick asked her the same question and she offered a response.

By the time were done, a lot of folks will have all the rules and clauses in case they want to try this in their stories.  ;D
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Offline Margarett

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2012, 12:54:32 AM »
LOL and that is a good thing! I need all the punctuation education I can find.  :)
Dance in the raindrops. Slide down a rainbow. Make our world a more beautiful place. Keep a smile handy and give them away.
After all they are free!  " SMILE "

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2012, 12:55:46 AM »
Me 2  ;D ;D
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Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2012, 03:50:40 AM »
Miss Alice, I got sidetracked without repairing one of the points you brought up. I had used 'Barbarian' as a condemnation and you reminder be that may be out of time as a derogatory comment. Here's how I fixed it in my copy.


He found her wrist and slowly tightened his grip. “I don’t know, forever’s a long time.”

“Oh! You ass.
Gaul.”
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Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #25 on: February 20, 2012, 05:38:57 PM »
Miss Alice, I got sidetracked without repairing one of the points you brought up. I had used 'Barbarian' as a condemnation and you reminder be that may be out of time as a derogatory comment. Here's how I fixed it in my copy.


He found her wrist and slowly tightened his grip. “I don’t know, forever’s a long time.”

“Oh! You ass.
Gaul.”



 :D    :D    :D
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The universe is made of stories, not of atoms. -Muriel Rukeyser, poet and activist (15 Dec 1913-1980)

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I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
-Mohandas K. Gandhi

Offline Skip Slocum

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Re: First Night (1,110) Megan's Voice
« Reply #26 on: February 20, 2012, 05:46:53 PM »
I honestly think my keyboard is messing up a bit.

...and you reminder be that  >:(
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