Author Topic: My first poem  (Read 440 times)

Offline DanteLockhart

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My first poem
« on: February 16, 2012, 11:11:00 AM »
I wrote this for Valentines Day and used it in the card I sent to my partner. This is the first poem I have written that I can remember (English classes at school aside) so be gentle ;) I'll be honest, this layout is the one that seemed easiest to me. Having not written a poem before the whole rhyming at the end of a sentence seemed to fit. Anyways, here we go.

I stroke your cheek; run my fingers through your hair
And all of the time Iím mesmerised by your stare
For when I gaze into your eyes I lose all track of time
They sparkle like emeralds, captivating, sublime
I run my hands down your back, so perfect and slender
Our lips touch for a kiss, so delicate and tender
And as you open your eyes they twinkle and shine
I know at this moment I can say that you are mine
With your compassionate nature and soft, milky skin
You are beauty personified, both outside and in
For when I am with you, I canít help but feel whole
And for this reason I am yours, mind, body and soul.

Go nuts. (this is not part of the poem >_>). I know it's kind of 'Hallmarky' but it was Valentines Day so I figured, meh, why not follow suit.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 11:16:17 AM by DanteLockhart »

Offline Vienna

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Re: My first poem
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2012, 11:16:52 AM »
I bet your partner really liked it................ ;) Actually knowing my partners sense of humour if she gave me something like this I would think she was taking the piss.........
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 11:31:23 AM by Vienna »
Just a well-read punk peasant

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sweetgirl09

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Re: My first poem
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2012, 11:22:11 AM »
Well yes, I'd love to have received this! It's a lovely greeting card. But as you also say, meh! Keep writing.

Offline Alice, a Country Gal

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Re: My first poem
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2012, 11:32:30 AM »
Dante,

I would like to suggest you take the time to visit the Welcome Board and introduce yourself to our membership:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php/board,1.0.html

Equally important and helpful, please read our Forum Guidelines:
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php/topic,7415.0.html

You'll also find that several of our boards have guidelines of their own concerning posting. These will be found on the left hand menu when you open a board and are generally titled something along the lines of Read This First, and marked with a Blue Stick-Pin.

Thank you,
Alice
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Offline AzureDumpling

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Re: My first poem
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2012, 10:35:02 AM »
I like cheesy things, so this is like being slapped in the face with a romantic cloud of chocolate pillow.

everything is said simply and cliched-ly, but im sure it will be appreciated. i like it too.