Author Topic: - Daye -  (Read 1173 times)

Offline HaroHalola

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- Daye -
« on: February 15, 2012, 12:18:20 PM »
-DAYE

save the moth from a
grim swim watch the mourning doves
capacitate deem
the crows roost circle an’ soar
like happy bats forenight for

palmetto ‘tennae
surveying like dousing rods
or batrachian
hymenoptera’s picnic
mote spiders mildly disturbed

nary new i-dots
to the shut page sialias
land an’ flit robust
deemed from the Spring’s hatchlings aye
odo perhaps this night hawk

in the daye scene the
blue behind the gray whiptail
whizzehides like a striped
wraithe with eve the rescued moth
i think lights to the supping

sem’lina weevil’d r’moved
pistachio the pflibsons
…‘bide the waiting dusk ducks…   
& from what this black flycrawl
entomology mattel?

only to salve a
late incapacitate yea
ver’ly feste the daye

                    H.e.m.-H’H.
                    1.16.MMxii.
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 12:30:27 PM »
I rather like this, some very neatly woven word associations
and the poet knows how to make music. Very fine images
pop up in unexpected places. A little OTT in parts,
but it works for me.

Sparky

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 01:02:03 PM »
Thanks, Sparky; the "poet"-in-the-third-person, of course, being me?  Glad this is music for your ears...but don't get the the "OTT" reference, this piece's sans baseball.  The "images" are juxtaposed to the enjambment of the tanka (haiku, S6) structuring, ergo the "unexpected pop-ups," to which you were, presumably, unreferencially astute.     H'H.
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

drafty posh shark

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2012, 02:39:47 PM »

HH, liked s1 off to get my thesaurus out for the rest but will persevere and get back

Offline drab

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2012, 09:55:22 PM »
Nice to meet you HH,
Physiognomically speaking I'd like to know what you Wear, whose shoes you are travelling in.
Regards
Rev. drab
To live, with gentle but cunning deceit, and accept the consequences, is the destiny of every man.

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2012, 11:14:39 PM »
Hey Rev. - This is so likewise sudden, though I am not one of a trusting distrust nature 'cept where applicable, physiognomically-speaking, I "Wear" appropriately chosens-for-the-circumstance, un-drab; as for shoes, you've read the poetry, I suggest reading deeper into my other work for a sole, soul journey...   H'H.    
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

Offline indar

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2012, 02:51:16 AM »
This reads like Gerard Manley Hopkins meets Bewolfe. OTT means over the top. I am intrigued by your writing but wish you would come out from behind the wall of words occasionally.

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2012, 07:58:58 AM »
Hello, indar - You smalm & kittle, thank you; the G.M. Hopkins ref. (Beowulf all-the-sweeter) is always never without abiding.  As for OTT, again thank you, but baseball is just 'round 1st. base & Mel is dusting-off the chalky dust for 'nother stellar season, wary of those sentence-ending adverbs -   H'H.
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

Offline indar

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2012, 12:14:42 PM »
gotme

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2012, 12:55:09 PM »
indar - & touche`; hope It's felicitous & not fatal -   H'H.
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

Offline indar

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2012, 01:08:37 PM »
All in fun H'H---love the fauna and rana---well lizards i guess; rana is one of the few words i remember from flunked Latin in high school out of which i dropped. High school that is

zachary.hamilton15

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2012, 06:32:57 PM »
The interesting part is the sheer syntax oblivion, an eroding fray of
parts cooperating with the flowing image of birds woven through out.
I struggled with the second and third stanza, reality seemed to exist
underneath and I attempted to pile the images on top of me to get to
it. I wanted to see something within that second opening line,
something (I suppose concrete) I enjoyed the flavor of this piece
I think going in to the 2nd and 3rd stanza might help this poem.
enjoyed the read
+zach

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2012, 06:52:01 PM »
indar - Hardly the tenor of a H.S. dropout; but public education(?) is a shell game, a shell of what's essential...I also accumulated latent knowledge, & happily/surprisingly plumbed the years of the self-unawareness' of early schooling which housed & stored what I had apparently gleaned through osmosis.

As for Latin, certainly your everyday lexi is rife with "et cetera, ad infinitum, e pluribus unim," et al?

H'H.
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

Offline HaroHalola

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2012, 07:03:39 PM »
Hey Zach - Welcome (I am a returning member); thank you for your input...as I said, this is a dated piece, & although my work continues to evolve/morph into other sensibilities & focus, I am intrigued by your own "poetic/command" interpretations & observations.  "Sheer syntax oblivion" sums the confusion/timbre of the piece's theme, love lost.  Not so sold, however, on "an eroding fray of parts cooperating with the flowing image of birds woven through out."  Love(?) erodes, yes; if there's fray, It mirrors this.   H'H.   
""WE ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUR POETRY, RATHER OUR POETRY DEFINED BY US!""

Love, through a Sacred sharing of Body
the enfusion of Two Hearts,
Love, the enfusion of Two Hearts
through a Sacred sharing of Body.

                               H.e.m./H'H.
                               9.11.MMv

zachary.hamilton15

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Re: - Daye -
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2012, 07:06:54 PM »
Cool! I like the reply!
I too am Aquarius and always searching for other Aquarius writers to converse with.
Hope to continue looking at others of you work, do you have a place I can go and check out
more of your writing?
+zach