Author Topic: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)  (Read 1079 times)

hillwalker3000

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Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« on: February 11, 2012, 04:19:42 AM »
In response to some of the positive feedback
following my posting of 'The Party's Over'
I thought I'd share an earlier poem similar in style


MISS OTIS REGRETS

Miss Otis regretted her 13th martini;
forgetting to tip as she cashed in her chips.
Miss Otis regretted that Tarquin, not Tarzan,
was plumping her pillows and chewing her lips.

This Manhattan heat wave had thickened her blood
and she opened the blinds then pulled off her chemise
but her beau was put out when she laughed and suggested
they do it like dogs then got down on her knees.

She sneered at his blushes and made him draw closer
then whispered ‘I’m bored with my back to the view’
and then her remark about starch in his collar
but none down below saw him bid swift adieu.

She dreamt of her lover in leopard-skin loin cloth,
the touch of soft fur as he tore off her shift.
She calmly surrendered, allowed him to fondle
her jungle, her swampland, her African Rift.

Miss Otis regretted no instant of passion,
replaying each whimper, each gasp and each sigh
‘til she saw through her window, its glare like a mirror,
the cold frozen pupil of King Kong’s left eye.

H3K

Offline SparkyDashforth

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2012, 12:44:00 PM »
Hi HW

a clever parody on the old Cole Porter number.
Does the rhythm change after S1?   (where is Mark when you need him!)

Some neat rhymes here, example: chemise/knee's while the others are a bit obvious.

This has got to be the most memorable line-

"She calmly surrendered, allowed him to fondle
her jungle, her swampland, her African Rift."

Nice reference back to 1934 and King Kong.  Those were the days!

I would prefer 'The Manhattan' rather than "This Manhattan" in S2L1.

Good work!

Sparky

« Last Edit: February 11, 2012, 01:47:03 PM by SparkyDashforth »

Offline Mark H

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2012, 01:34:14 PM »
I really enjoyed it. Very witty.

No crit. I like it as is.

M
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Offline indar

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2012, 03:26:50 AM »
Yeah HW, you have an apptitude for the fun poem in which the persistant rhythm and end rhyme seems perfectly natural and adds much to the piece.

hillwalker3000

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2012, 05:27:17 AM »
Thanks for reading and responding, everybody.

And you're right, Sparky. 'The Manhattan heatwave' keeps it
firmly fixed in the past (which is what I was aiming for)
rather than 'This Manhattan...'



H3K

Offline 510bhan

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2012, 09:12:46 AM »
Yep -- liked this, easy to read and understand. ;) ;)
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Offline duck

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2012, 04:10:09 PM »
Hi Hillwalker,
Loved this. funny clever and sexy. The King Kong is a tad obvious though.
Duck

hillwalker3000

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2012, 05:30:02 AM »
Thank you both.

Obvious? Hmm... I shall have to think about that.

H3K

Offline indar

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2012, 11:43:15 AM »
Reading this again HW, I question "the cold frozen pupil" Didn't King Kong have a thing about the Miss wassername in the NY skyscraper? Was it Alice faye? Wouldn't there be a little heat behind that pupil?

hillwalker3000

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2012, 06:18:38 PM »
It was Faye Wray - and yes, he had a thing for her.

Call it poetic licence.

H3K

Offline indar

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2012, 08:27:35 PM »
OK

Offline bowmore bill

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Re: Miss Otis Regrets - (Adult Theme)
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2012, 02:12:26 PM »
Hi 3000, outstandingly funny. thanks for sharing